¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.22

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-22 959

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?

Food incidents often times happen in my country.
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
But, there was a more big problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning.
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
But, many people like to eat it raw.
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever heard of any food safety scandals in your country?


Food incidents often times happen in my country.
>> CORRECT!
One example is, the largest food poisoning in 2018.
>> CORRECT!
This case is, there was a cake in school lunch menu, bu this cake made a problem.
>> This case is, there was a cake in the school's lunch menu, but this cake made a problem.
After lunch, some student got food poisoning.
>> After lunch, some students got food poisoned.
But, there was a more big problem.
>> But, there was a bigger problem.
Because, a company supplies this cake to across the country schools.
>> Because, a company supplies this cake across the country's schools.
So, many students got sick across the country in school.
>> So, many students got sick in schools across the country.
Next, incidents is there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
>> The next incident is that there are cases of group food poisoning that happen every year in my country.
This is oyster food poisoning. 
>> CORRECT!
Actually, everyone knows it well, we should be careful when we eat sea food and shellfish.
>> CORRECT!
But, many people like to eat it raw.
>> CORRECT!
So, everyone always said "be careful", but it's can't keep it.
>> So, everyone always says "be careful", but they can't keep it.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137932 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 654
137931 How do you think Koreans can reduce food waste? ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 663
137930 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 704
137929 E-world honorary ambassador ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 705
137928 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 0
137927 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 3
137926 Homework ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-19 2
137925 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 2
137924 Do you think you could live without your smartphone (or other... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 799
137923 What sport would you want to try or learn? Explain your answer. Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 696
137922 What do you think is the most fun musical instrument to play?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 654
137921 What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 698
137920 What do you think is interesting about your culture? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 562
137919 Are you good at time management or managing your time? Explain... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 0
137918 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 722
137917 What are some tourist attractions in your city? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 703
137916 Q) Can sadness be useful in people¡¯s lives? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 2
137915 2024.06.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 710
137914 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 729
137913 I become morning person. ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-18 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04