¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-20 683

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does contamination affect our health?

These days, many people are worried about environmental pollution.
So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination.
One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health.
For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy.
And as a result, our life time will be reduce.
The contamination are affect to nature and animals.
Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect.
But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does contamination affect our health?


These days, many people are worried about the environmental pollution.
>> CORRECT!
So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health.
>> One of the reasons why many people want to reduce contamination is because of health concerns.
For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy.
>> For example, if our sources like water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthily.
And as a result, our life time will be reduce.
>> And as a result, the time of our lives will be reduced.
The contamination are affect to nature and animals.
>> The contamination also affects nature and animals.
Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect.
>> Finally, I think this effect will lead to greater disasters to people like a butterfly effect.
But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129559 What are your hobbies? Write about them. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129558 Do you brush your teeth after every meal ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1634
129557 What is the most interesting movie you\'ve watched? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1515
129556 How can organizations promote and foster a culture of strong... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1
129555 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-16 1580
129554 Do you find business meeting stressful? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1
129553 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1620
129552 Homwork Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1716
129551 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1579
129550 What do you like doing during winter? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2134
129549 What is your favorite place in Korea, and why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 1773
129548 Is cancer a common disease in your country? If so, why do you... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-15 2
129547 What\'s your thought on the way historical movies are made or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2
129546 homework 07.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1252
129545 The best place to rest in my home ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1443
129544 What is the scariest moive that you have seen? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1843
129543 2023.7.14 homework ±è*»è ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 2239
129542 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1272
129541 HOMRWORK ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 3
129540 I will be poor and happy. ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-14 1263

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04