¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-20 643

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does contamination affect our health?

These days, many people are worried about environmental pollution.
So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination.
One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health.
For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy.
And as a result, our life time will be reduce.
The contamination are affect to nature and animals.
Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect.
But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does contamination affect our health?


These days, many people are worried about the environmental pollution.
>> CORRECT!
So, there are many campaigns and movements to reduce contamination.
>> CORRECT!
One of the reason why many people want to reduce contamination is health.
>> One of the reasons why many people want to reduce contamination is because of health concerns.
For example, if living for water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthy.
>> For example, if our sources like water, ground, and food are contaminated in the area where we live, we cannot live healthily.
And as a result, our life time will be reduce.
>> And as a result, the time of our lives will be reduced.
The contamination are affect to nature and animals.
>> The contamination also affects nature and animals.
Finally, I think this effect will follow to greater disaster for people like a butterfly effect.
>> Finally, I think this effect will lead to greater disasters to people like a butterfly effect.
But, I think the bigger problem is that a few worst companies secretly spill dangerous and contamination substances into the land or sea.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130342 How bad is bullying in your country? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1
130341 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2048
130340 What are you like when you are angry? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2
130339 What are the advantages of living in an apartment? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1360
130338 How do you feel about fusion food? Do you prefer traditional... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1520
130337 What mechanisms are necessary for people to go through in order... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 908
130336 To develop my life ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1556
130335 What are the benefits of waking up early? È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1237
130334 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 2738
130333 How does showing care towards others contribute to building... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1589
130332 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1047
130331 Do you think the technology that we have right now is effective... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1930
130330 Homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1279
130329 Have you ever committed a small/ petty crime when you were young? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1285
130328 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1246
130327 8/21 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 15
130326 Weekend activities ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1108
130325 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 1034
130324 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-21 3
130323 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-20 2247

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04