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country that I want to visit and why

작성자: 박*현
2024-03-20 2144

회원님의 영작문

I want to visit to Mongolia.
Because In Mongolia there is a big desert like Gobi desert, and I want to see the wild desert and grassland.
And I heard that Korea and Monglia make a agreement that is making a forest in Monglia desert.
In Korea spring, there are a lot of yellow dusts that is coming from Monglia and Chinese desert.
So in Korea forest service, they want to plant trees in those deserts to stop brewing the yellow dustn from other country's desert.
I want to see that planting trees, desert, grassland, and a lots of stars in desert.
After I finished my university graduation, I want to travel Mongolia.
(+ I want to travel taiwan too. Because I have friend who lived in taiwan, He always says that taiwan bubble tea is more delicious than korean bubble tea. So I really want to try it.)

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

It is really impressive that you have started making a meaningful plan that will not only give you happiness but will also benefit our environment. I admire your passion for what you study. Great job, Kate!  
-Khai 

I want to visit to Mongolia.

>> I want to visit Mongolia.

Because In Mongolia there is a big desert like Gobi desert, and I want to see the wild desert and grassland.

>> It is because there is a big desert in Mongolia named the Gobi Desert, and I want to see the wild desert and grassland.

And I heard that Korea and Monglia make a agreement that is making a forest in Monglia desert.

>> I also heard that Korea and Mongolia made an agreement to start a forest in the Mongolian desert.

In Korea spring, there are a lot of yellow dusts that is coming from Monglia and Chinese desert.

>> During spring here in Korea, there are lots of yellow dusts coming from the deserts of Mongolia and China.

So in Korea forest service, they want to plant trees in those deserts to stop brewing the yellow dustn from other country's desert.

>> So as an initiative of Korea’s forest services, planting trees in those deserts is a way to stop the yellow dust.

I want to see that planting trees, desert, grassland, and a lots of stars in desert.

>> I want to plant trees, and I want to see the desert with grassland. I also want to see lots of stars in the desert.

After I finished my university graduation, I want to travel Mongolia.

>> After I graduate, I want to travel to Mongolia.

(+ I want to travel taiwan too. 

>> In addition to this, I want to travel to Taiwan too.

Because I have friend who lived in taiwan, 

>> The reason is that I have a friend who lives in Taiwan.

He always says that taiwan bubble tea is more delicious than korean bubble tea. 

>> He always says that Taiwanese bubble tea is more delicious than Korean bubble tea.

So I really want to try it.)

>> So, I really want to try it.


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