무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How does education help make things fair for everyone, including girls, and give power to women?

작성자: 황*은
2024-03-19 594

회원님의 영작문

Education help make things fair. First, by education we can learn about fairness and how to achieve that. It can be hard to think about fairness and reach desirable conclusion alone. It is tough to expect someone who earns benefits from unfair society to ponder the importance of fairness.
Second, fair chance for education brings fair society especially in modern society. Education brings ability and ability gives power. If someone has no chance to get education, then he or she will be easy to be neglected. And if that happens to entire women, it will be shortcut to get to unfair society, which happened in our society for hundreds of years.
So the conclusion is educating importance of fairness and giving fair chance for education will help our society more fair.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun, 

Your points about education and fairness are spot on. Education teaches us about fairness and empowers individuals to strive for it. By ensuring everyone has access to education, especially women, we create a more equal society. Keep up the great work! 

~Teacher Cathy  

 

Education help make things fair.  

>>Education helps make things fair. 

First, by education we can learn about fairness and how to achieve that.  

>>Firstly, through education, we can learn about fairness and how to achieve it. 

It can be hard to think about fairness and reach desirable conclusion alone.  

>>It can be challenging to contemplate fairness and reach desirable conclusions alone. 

It is tough to expect someone who earns benefits from unfair society to ponder the importance of fairness. 

>>It is tough to expect someone who benefits from an unfair society to ponder the importance of fairness. 

Second, fair chance for education brings fair society especially in modern society.  

>>Secondly, a fair chance for education brings a fair society, especially in modern society. 

Education brings ability and ability gives power.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Education gives you skills, and skills give you power. 

If someone has no chance to get education, then he or she will be easy to be neglected.  

>>If someone has no chance to get an education, then he or she will be easy to be neglected. 

And if that happens to entire women, it will be shortcut to get to unfair society, which happened in our society for hundreds of years. 

>>And if that happens to all women, it will be a shortcut to creating an unfair society, which has occurred in our society for hundreds of years. 

So the conclusion is educating importance of fairness and giving fair chance for education will help our society more fair. 

>>So the conclusion is educating the importance of fairness and giving a fair chance for education will help our society become more fair. 

 

 

 

 

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
136372 Homework 김*우 완료 2024-04-14 2
136371 Homework 윤*선 완료 2024-04-14 322
136370 HOMEWORK FOR 04.12.2024 WRITING TASK: Which chore do you like... 임*지 완료 2024-04-14 5
136369 What are your thoughts on Korean fashion? 차*혁 완료 2024-04-14 360
136368 Describe a useful website 오*소 완료 2024-04-14 1
136367 How do you take care of your teeth? 김*규 완료 2024-04-13 3
136366 In Korea, there are many people who fawn on Mondays. 윤*혜 완료 2024-04-13 374
136365 These are my favorite days :) 윤*혜 완료 2024-04-13 322
136364 If I could have chosen any job, I wanted to be an astrophysicist. 윤*혜 완료 2024-04-13 213
136363 Rest is very important! 윤*혜 완료 2024-04-13 454
136362 Homework 김*서 완료 2024-04-12 2
136361 What was the last thing you accepted? 김*규 완료 2024-04-12 1
136360 Homework 장*혁 완료 2024-04-12 374
136359 homework 04.12 최*� 완료 2024-04-12 306
136358 What is the most famous restaurant in your country and what is... 신*규 완료 2024-04-12 218
136357 My personality 김*아 완료 2024-04-12 361
136356 About my neighborhood 김*아 완료 2024-04-12 303
136355 In what ways does your family provide support during tough... 오*솜 완료 2024-04-12 2
136354 Do you enjoy outdoor activities like hiking or camping? Why or... 박*은 완료 2024-04-12 390
136353 Can you describe a typical family dinner in your household? 박*은 완료 2024-04-12 399

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]