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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What does success mean to you, and how do you plan to reach it?

작성자: 황*은
2024-03-19 1255

회원님의 영작문

I guess social meaning of success is related to money, honor and high status. But that kind of success doesn't always lead to "successful life". I think good relationship and meaning of life matter the most when it comes to successful life. So for me, success means success in relationship and creating some meaning in one's life. To achieve my success in relationship, I try to maintain good relationship. And to achieve success in creating meaning of life, I'm developing myself because with more ability, I can do much more things so it will be easier to make some meaning in life. For example, if I make some useful machine using my knowledge then I can feel my life more meaningful because I'm making the world a little better. He or she can feel useless when doing nothing and that feeling is obviously an obstacle to successful life.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun, 

Your perspective on success is refreshing and insightful. It's true that true success encompasses more than just material wealth or status-it's about meaningful relationships and personal fulfillment. Your dedication to nurturing relationships and self-development reflects a profound understanding of what it means to lead a successful life. Keep pursuing your goals with determination, and may your journey be filled with growth and fulfillment. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I guess social meaning of success is related to money, honor and high status.  

>>I guess the social meaning of success is related to money, honor, and high status. 

But that kind of success doesn't always lead to "successful life".  

>>But that kind of success doesn't always lead to a "successful life". 

I think good relationship and meaning of life matter the most when it comes to successful life.  

>>I think good relationships and the meaning of life matter the most when it comes to a successful life. 

So for me, success means success in relationship and creating some meaning in one's life.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>For me, success entails achievement in relationships and the establishment of personal meaning in life. 

To achieve my success in relationship, I try to maintain good relationship.  

>>To achieve my success in relationships, I try to maintain good relationships. 

And to achieve success in creating meaning of life, I'm developing myself because with more ability, I can do much more things so it will be easier to make some meaning in life.  

>>And to achieve success in creating meaning in life, I'm developing myself because, with more ability, I can do many more things, making it easier to find meaning in life. 

For example, if I make some useful machine using my knowledge then I can feel my life more meaningful because I'm making the world a little better.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>For instance, by crafting a helpful machine with my knowledge, I can enhance the significance of my life as I contribute to improving the world, even if only in a small way. 

He or she can feel useless when doing nothing and that feeling is obviously an obstacle to successful life. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>He or she may feel useless when idle, and this sentiment evidently hinders a successful life. 

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