¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What things about Korea do you think Korean people are proud of?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*Àº
2024-03-19 827

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't know what Korean people are most proud of.
But there is one thing I am most proud of.
That is Korea.
I am proud of Korea itself.
Because Korea exists, I also exist.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Sunny!
Great job!
Just take note of how you begin your sentences.
Avoid starting your sentences with conjunctions like "but" and "because."
Other than that, the composition was very smooth and clear.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I don't know what Korean people are most proud of.
>> Correct
But there is one thing I am most proud of.
>> However, there is one thing I am most proud of.
That is Korea.
>> Correct
I am proud of Korea itself.
>> Correct
Because Korea exists, I also exist.
>> It's because if Korea exists, I also exist.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135509 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 734
135508 How does social media affect people\'s self-esteem? Share your... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 759
135507 How does education help make things fair for everyone, including... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 2
135506 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0
135505 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 728
135504 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 726
135503 Do you think soldiers and police officers are heroes? Why do you... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1265
135502 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 881
135501 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 4
135500 What¡¯s the best movie you¡¯ve ever seen? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 841
135499 What egg dish do you like the most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 765
135498 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1057
135497 What annoys you most when you travel? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 800
135496 What is the implication of having an aging population? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 683
135495 Have you ever experienced being completely wrong in your first... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1036
135494 What are the health care problems in your country? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1000
135493 stand ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 0
135492 Which is worse: Loud neighbors or nosy neighbors? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1
135491 Would you rather be a celebrity or an influencer right now if... ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1
135490 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 1126

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04