¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best place to raise a family

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-18 1068

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.
Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.
And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.
I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.
Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.
He had lived alone because of his job. At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You have written a meaningful answer, Min. ^^ I agree that the best place to raise a family is our "sweet home".
-Khai

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.

>> I think ¡°sweet home¡± is the best place to raise a family.

Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

>> It is because some children may not come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

>> Some elderly people will also feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.

>> I want to recommend a ¡°sweet home¡± where family members feel ¡°comfortable¡± when they come back home.

I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

>> I was raised in this ¡°sweet home¡±, so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.

>> CORRECT

He had lived alone because of his job.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Before, he lived alone because of his job.

At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> During that time, he had hair loss and skin problems.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

>> Therefore, the best place to raise a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're at home.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133291 Action to the confidential information ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1385
133290 Survey ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133289 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-18 1
133288 What would you do if you had a few extra hours in a day? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 0
133287 Relaxing vacation ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 1
133286 Diet ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 1
133285 Is technology too isolating? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 1
133284 The flow of Korean history. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 3
133283 Background of the Korean War. ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 1741
133282 HOMEWORK FOR 12.15.2023 WRITING TASK: How should we sound polite... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-17 1
133281 Homework : unit 13 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-16 2
133280 How does rain change your feelings? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-16 1403
133279 Crime for good cause ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-16 1
133278 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \\ ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-16 2
133277 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-16 1
133276 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 2
133275 Do you think family gatherings are necessary? What do you enjoy... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1744
133274 What is your favorite food? Why? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1377
133273 Do you like being at home alone? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 5
133272 homework 12.15 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-15 1380

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04