¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The best place to raise a family

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-18 1019

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.
Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.
And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.
I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.
Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.
He had lived alone because of his job. At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You have written a meaningful answer, Min. ^^ I agree that the best place to raise a family is our "sweet home".
-Khai

I think 'sweet home' is the best place to raise a family.

>> I think ¡°sweet home¡± is the best place to raise a family.

Because some children will don't come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

>> It is because some children may not come back to their home, and other children will feel happy living far from their family.

And some elder people will feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

>> Some elderly people will also feel uncomfortable in their son or daughter's home.

I want to prescribe a 'sweet home' that family members feel 'comfortable' when they come back home.

>> I want to recommend a ¡°sweet home¡± where family members feel ¡°comfortable¡± when they come back home.

I raised in this 'sweet home', so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

>> I was raised in this ¡°sweet home¡±, so I was able to overcome the crisis of quitting my job.

Also my brother got healthy after he quitted his job and came back home.

>> CORRECT

He had lived alone because of his job.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Before, he lived alone because of his job.

At that time, he got a hair loss and skin problem.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> During that time, he had hair loss and skin problems.

Therefore, the best place to rasie a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're in home.

>> Therefore, the best place to raise a family is a home where all family members feel comfortable when they're at home.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133986 homework 01.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 950
133985 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1024
133984 What would you do if you had a few extra hours in a day? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133983 Aside from diet and exercise, what are some ways to keep... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 909
133982 Is it better to talk about and share opinions or keep them to... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 0
133981 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 338
133980 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1458
133979 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 2
133978 Cathedral ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 982
133977 All learning is worth it, and it feels good to be able to fill... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 954
133976 About my job in the future ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 0
133975 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1078
133974 What would you plant if you had a big garden? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1142
133973 ·¹½ºÅä¶û ¼±Åà Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 838
133972 If you were left on a deserted island with either your worst... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 2
133971 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1
133970 What activity can you do when it is raining? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1046
133969 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1020
133968 Homework ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1269
133967 Make up makes people beautiful ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-17 1071

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04