무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

How does social media affect people\'s self-esteem? Share your opinion.

작성자: 최*훈
2024-03-14 588

회원님의 영작문

There are 2 reasons why social media is not good for self-esteem. First, social media usually shows a completely perfect image of people. Most people tend to show wonderful figures on social media because they want to look as if they live perfectly. People who see this figure have a sense of enviousness and shame because they probably think why I can\'t do this. It makes me compare myself to others. Second, some people can\'t distinguish between reality and the media world. Their lives are very different in social media compared to real life. If they have a lot of self-esteem in social media, they will be abnormally obsessed with it. There is a disparity between reality and social media. After all, they will lose everything from social media.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey Sarah! Thank you for sharing your opinion about social media effects on people's self-esteem. Keep it up!
~~Teacher Ryka^^


There are 2 reasons why social media is not good for self-esteem. 
>> There are two reasons why social media is detrimental to self-esteem.

First, social media usually shows a completely perfect image of people. 
>> Firstly, social media often portrays an entirely perfect image of people. 

Most people tend to show wonderful figures on social media because they want to look as if they live perfectly. 
>> Most individuals tend to showcase idealized versions of themselves on social media in an attempt to project a flawless life.

People who see this figure have a sense of enviousness and shame because they probably think why I can\'t do this. 
>> Consequently, those who view these images may experience feelings of envy and shame, questioning why they can't achieve the same standards. 

It makes me compare myself to others. 
>> This constant comparison leads to a negative impact on self-esteem.

Second, some people can\'t distinguish between reality and the media world. 
>> Secondly, some individuals struggle to differentiate between reality and the virtual world of social media. 

Their lives are very different in social media compared to real life. 
>> Their online personas can starkly contrast with their real lives. 

If they have a lot of self-esteem in social media, they will be abnormally obsessed with it. 
>> If they invest a significant portion of their self-esteem in their social media presence, they may become excessively fixated on it. 

There is a disparity between reality and social media. 
>> This creates a disconnection between reality and the curated content of social media platforms. 

After all, they will lose everything from social media.
>> Ultimately, they risk losing touch with genuine experiences and relationships outside of the digital realm.
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
130203 How did you hear about this position? 이*윤 완료 2023-08-15 878
130202 Is overpopulation a problem in your town or country? 이*민 완료 2023-08-15 1200
130201 How can social norms and cultural influences impact behavior? 정*아 완료 2023-08-15 876
130200 Do you have a favorite song that you love to perform? What is... 임*호 완료 2023-08-15 0
130199 WRITING TASK: How can helping others benefit someone? 임*지 완료 2023-08-15 2
130198 What is the main things of behavior 김*우 완료 2023-08-15 0
130197 Being a role model 김*우 완료 2023-08-15 0
130196 How does behavior change across different life stages, from... 정*아 완료 2023-08-15 835
130195 Homework 김*님 완료 2023-08-14 836
130194 What\'s your thought on cliques in schools? Would you want to... 김*민 완료 2023-08-14 2
130193 homework 08.14 최*� 완료 2023-08-14 1433
130192 What and who are your major influences for having your recent... 조*민 완료 2023-08-14 1622
130191 Would you rather have a dog or cat? 박*현 완료 2023-08-14 550
130190 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-08-14 1149
130189 Today\'s homework 이*도 완료 2023-08-14 1308
130188 My own way to relieve stress 성*경 완료 2023-08-14 841
130187 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-08-14 992
130186 What other pharmaceutical companies do you know that have very... 이*주 완료 2023-08-14 580
130185 Was your area affected by the typhoon? How severe was the... 복*훈 완료 2023-08-14 2
130184 Make questions from each of these keywords: hesitate, invite,... 김*규 완료 2023-08-14 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]