¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What are the health care problems in your country?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*¼·
2024-03-14 820

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

These days, there is a demonstration about doctors in my country. There are several reasons. First, the cosmetic surgery is concentrated on the students because of a high demand. But, the pediatric isn't since the birth rate went to down. And, doctors of emergency room get a lot of complaints from patients. Second, most infrastructures are in the Seoul. So, doctors don't want to work countryside. It's uncomfortable and a lack of manpower. Last of all, it's a quite stupid policy. The government in South Korea tend to make up just finance. They think just money can handle an issue.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Eric!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


These days, there is a demonstration about doctors in my country. 
>> These days, there is a demonstration for doctors in my country. 
There are several reasons. 
>> CORRECT!
First, the cosmetic surgery is concentrated on the students because of a high demand. 
>> CORRECT!
But, the pediatric isn't since the birth rate went to down. 
>> But, pediatrics isn't, since the birth rate went to down. 
And, doctors of emergency room get a lot of complaints from patients. 
>> CORRECT!
Second, most infrastructures are in the Seoul. 
>> Second, most infrastructures are in Seoul. 
So, doctors don't want to work countryside. 
>> So, doctors don't want to work in the countryside. 
It's uncomfortable and a lack of manpower. 
>> It's uncomfortable because of the lack of manpower. 
Last of all, it's quite a stupid policy. 
>> CORRECT!
The government in South Korea tend to make up just finance. 
>> The government in South Korea tend to make up just for finance. 
They think just money can handle an issue.
>> They think that money can handle an issue.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137820 What activity do you want to do during the Summer season? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 549
137819 good mood ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 1
137818 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 571
137817 June 12th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 662
137816 Home work! ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 645
137815 HOMEWORK DAY 3 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 602
137814 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 610
137813 Q) What¡¯s the best Christmas you¡¯ve ever had? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 1
137812 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 556
137811 What are the potential benefits of drinking plant-based milk... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 844
137810 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 843
137809 HOMEWORK FOR 06.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What comes to your mind... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 3
137808 Why is it important to take pictures? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 798
137807 The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 885
137806 Do you think skin color affects whether a person is regarded as... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 628
137805 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 592
137804 Performance assessment ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 563
137803 What did you like about school when you were a child? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 0
137802 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 659
137801 What is your kind of success? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 775

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04