¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does social media affect teenagers\' self-esteem?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-03-13 528

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In social media, we can see lots of perfect things, perfect face, perfect body, perfect voice, etc. They say us that we should change. It may seem good cause they makes us be better person. But the real problem is the image of social media is adjusted to look good so we never approach that level of perfection. Teenagers also know that the image of social media is not real but only in their head cause in the social media it seems that perfection is normal. As a result they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong. This affects their self esteem in bad ways.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Eun, 

Your essay delves into a crucial topic, highlighting how social media can shape teenagers' perceptions of themselves. The portrayal of perfection on social platforms can create unrealistic standards, leading teenagers to believe they fall short. It's essential to recognize the disparity between social media images and reality to safeguard self-esteem. Keep shedding light on these important issues! 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

In social media, we can see lots of perfect things, perfect face, perfect body, perfect voice, etc.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>On social media, we often encounter numerous instances of perfection: perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect voices, and so on. 

They say us that we should change.  

>>They tell us that we should change. 

It may seem good cause they makes us be better person 

>>It may seem good cause they make us a better person.  

But the real problem is the image of social media is adjusted to look good so we never approach that level of perfection.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>However, the real issue is that social media images are often manipulated to appear flawless, making it unattainable for us to reach such levels of perfection. 

Teenagers also know that the image of social media is not real but only in their head cause in the social media it seems that perfection is normal.  

>>Even if teenagers know that the image of social media is not real, they don't realize it because it seems like perfection is normal on social media. 

As a result they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong.  

>>As a result, they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong.  

This affects their self esteem in bad ways. 

>>This affects their self-esteem in bad ways. 

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134487 No tips!! À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 589
134486 Homework ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 268
134485 I want to be pretty À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 352
134484 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 3
134483 Make up ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 453
134482 2023.02.05 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134481 avoid eating out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134480 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 430
134479 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 653
134478 What is there to be happy about in the world today? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134477 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 1
134476 Would you rather be a unicorn or a dinosaur?Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 721
134475 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 0
134474 WRITING TASK: How do you maintain an interesting conversation? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 4
134473 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 2
134472 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 530
134471 Good traditions °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 576
134470 What should you bring for a trip? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 356
134469 Would you rather die in 20 years with no regrets or live to 100... ÃÖ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 370
134468 How would you introduce your country to foreigners? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-05 383

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04