¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How does social media affect teenagers\' self-esteem?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Àº
2024-03-13 431

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In social media, we can see lots of perfect things, perfect face, perfect body, perfect voice, etc. They say us that we should change. It may seem good cause they makes us be better person. But the real problem is the image of social media is adjusted to look good so we never approach that level of perfection. Teenagers also know that the image of social media is not real but only in their head cause in the social media it seems that perfection is normal. As a result they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong. This affects their self esteem in bad ways.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Seong Eun, 

Your essay delves into a crucial topic, highlighting how social media can shape teenagers' perceptions of themselves. The portrayal of perfection on social platforms can create unrealistic standards, leading teenagers to believe they fall short. It's essential to recognize the disparity between social media images and reality to safeguard self-esteem. Keep shedding light on these important issues! 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

In social media, we can see lots of perfect things, perfect face, perfect body, perfect voice, etc.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>On social media, we often encounter numerous instances of perfection: perfect faces, perfect bodies, perfect voices, and so on. 

They say us that we should change.  

>>They tell us that we should change. 

It may seem good cause they makes us be better person 

>>It may seem good cause they make us a better person.  

But the real problem is the image of social media is adjusted to look good so we never approach that level of perfection.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>However, the real issue is that social media images are often manipulated to appear flawless, making it unattainable for us to reach such levels of perfection. 

Teenagers also know that the image of social media is not real but only in their head cause in the social media it seems that perfection is normal.  

>>Even if teenagers know that the image of social media is not real, they don't realize it because it seems like perfection is normal on social media. 

As a result they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong.  

>>As a result, they find the reason why they can't reach perfection not in the standard of perfection but in themselves; they think they are wrong.  

This affects their self esteem in bad ways. 

>>This affects their self-esteem in bad ways. 

 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135579 HOMEWORK FOR 03.18.2024 WRITING TASK: If you could choose the... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 4
135578 When is the best time for you to spend time with your family and... ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 0
135577 Homework 3/18 °í*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 7
135576 Why is English fluency siginificant for you? ÀÌ*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 535
135575 Somethings we can\'t seek advice online. ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 392
135574 Which place would you really like to visit? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 2
135573 Should important choices be made by parents for young adults? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-18 1
135572 make a sentence using this image ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 0
135571 What do you think is the best exercise for kids? Explain your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 0
135570 Which is heavier,an iphone or a samsung Galaxy phone? Is the... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 384
135569 What do you think is the perfect age to go to elementary school? Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 760
135568 Class suspension ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 0
135567 Celebration ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 2
135566 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 457
135565 Pet peeves ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 1
135564 The past and the future ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-17 3
135563 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-16 1
135562 Why is reading a good hobby? Áø*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-16 2
135561 What are some ways businesses can promote diversity and... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-16 368
135560 What makes us feel unsuccessful? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 412

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04