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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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homework 03.12

작성자: 최*�
2024-03-12 1354

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?


I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
So, they will grow their wealth more.
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?


I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
>> I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want to buy buildings and houses if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
>> If I also have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
OR >> If I also have many properties, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
>> It's because, if we have a big amount of money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
>> In case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
>> CORRECT!
So, they will grow their wealth more.
>> CORRECT!
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
>> One of the buzz words among Koreans, they say "Building owners are over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
>> The reason is that if you become a building owner in an expensive location, you don't need a job at all.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
>> Really, some rich families even give their young children a building as a gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.
>> That's why many people want to be building owners.

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