¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.12

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-12 1265

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?


I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
So, they will grow their wealth more.
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?



I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
>> I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want to buy buildings and houses if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
>> If I also have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
OR >> If I also have many properties, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
>> It's because, if we have a big amount of money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
>> In case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
>> CORRECT!
So, they will grow their wealth more.
>> CORRECT!
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
>> One of the buzz words among Koreans, they say "Building owners are over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
>> The reason is that if you become a building owner in an expensive location, you don't need a job at all.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
>> Really, some rich families even give their young children a building as a gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.
>> That's why many people want to be building owners.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133824 homework 01.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 776
133823 What was the hardest part of the past week for you? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1141
133822 About Chat GPT ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1
133821 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2
133820 Influence of Social Media ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 765
133819 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1033
133818 My stomach ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1101
133817 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What are other... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2
133816 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 983
133815 Cold weather is lingering after snow today. do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1132
133814 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 728
133813 What are the reasons why kids are afraid of going to the... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1079
133812 What kinds of food can you cook? Would you like to learn how to... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 624
133811 Lying ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 892
133810 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 755
133809 HOMEWORK FOR 01.04.2024 WRITING TASK: What Korean snacks do you... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2
133808 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1752
133807 essay 4 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1052
133806 Our passion °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 1023
133805 Homework : unit 19 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2024-01-11 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04