¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.12

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-12 1220

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?


I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
So, they will grow their wealth more.
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
If you have a big amount of money, what will you do about it?



I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want buy building and house if they have a big amount of money.
>> I don't know well about other countries, but most Korean people usually want to buy buildings and houses if they have a big amount of money.
I'm also too If I have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
>> If I also have a lot of property, I wanna be a building owner.
OR >> If I also have many properties, I wanna be a building owner.
It because, if we have a big money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
>> It's because, if we have a big amount of money, we rarely spend a lot of money at once.
And case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
>> In case of buildings, it's usually a stable property.
Finally, most people don't want lose their money.
>> CORRECT!
So, they will grow their wealth more.
>> CORRECT!
On of the buzz words between Koreans say is "Building owner over the god."
>> One of the buzz words among Koreans, they say "Building owners are over the god."
The reason why that if you become a building owner on an expensive location, forever you don't need a job.
>> The reason is that if you become a building owner in an expensive location, you don't need a job at all.
Really, some rich family even give their young children a building gift.
>> Really, some rich families even give their young children a building as a gift.
That's how many people want to be building owners.
>> That's why many people want to be building owners.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134286 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1791
134285 What\'s one thing you\'re hoping to achieve this weekend? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134284 How to work effectively ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134283 Which one do you prefer iPhone or Samsung and why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 891
134282 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 648
134281 If there is any improvement your city can do to make public... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1412
134280 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1261
134279 experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134278 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 0
134277 Homework do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1090
134276 essay 11 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1176
134275 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1597
134274 I want to live in Canada or Australia. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1204
134273 A movie with a little comedy added to the c-list documentary. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1444
134272 Why do we use the computer? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1558
134271 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1405
134270 A Happy life °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1344
134269 Homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 923
134268 Who is always there to help you when you need it badly? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 1
134267 How long should we be having our conversation with friends Why? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-29 8

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04