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영작교정 게시판

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What do you do to get the things that you desire?

작성자: 오*소
2024-03-12 1120

회원님의 영작문

1. What do you do to get the things that you desire?
- To achieve the things I want, I start by practicing small. What I meant is that If I want to lose weight, I would start to go out and walk in the park daily, just take action without hesitation. And then, such things will follow like forgetting about laziness and eating healthier. I truly believe that initiating a small thing could bolster other things as well.

2. How did you feel when you received or attained the things that you desired?
- Last year, when I reached the weight I wanted, it was indelible. Before I started my diet, I doubted myself such as if I could make it before the wedding day. However, I succeeded in my goal and I got more confident. After I achieved the goal I believed in myself more and set a next goal that I could challenge myself.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Ms. Mi So! I read your thoughts on achieving your goals, especially the part about starting small and building from there. It's inspiring to know how reaching your desired weight last year not only made a lasting impression but also boosted your confidence to set and tackle new goals. Your approach of taking action without hesitation is commendable!
~T. Jenna

1. What do you do to get the things that you desire?
To achieve the things I want, I start by practicing small. 
>>To achieve the things I want, I start with small-scale practice.
OR
>> To achieve the things I want, I start small.
What I meant is that If I want to lose weight, I would start to go out and walk in the park daily, just take action without hesitation. 
>>What I meant is that if I want to lose weight, I would start going out for a daily walk in the park—taking action without hesitation.
And then, such things will follow like forgetting about laziness and eating healthier. 
>>And then, things like overcoming laziness and adopting healthier eating habits will follow.
I truly believe that initiating a small thing could bolster other things as well.
Correct, or
>>I truly believe that starting with small initiatives can positively influence other aspects as well.

2. How did you feel when you received or attained the things that you desired?
Last year, when I reached the weight I wanted, it was indelible. 
Correct, or
>>Last year, reaching the weight I desired was an indelible experience.
Before I started my diet, I doubted myself such as if I could make it before the wedding day. 
>>Before I started my diet, I doubted myself, questioning whether I could make it before the wedding day.
However, I succeeded in my goal and I got more confident. 
Correct, or
>>However, I succeeded in achieving my goal and gained more confidence.
After I achieved the goal, I believed in myself more and set a next goal that I could challenge myself.
>>After achieving the initial goal, I gained more belief in myself and set a new, challenging goal.
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