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영작교정 게시판

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My opinion that governments should encourage pubilc trasportation

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-10 1432

회원님의 영작문

I think that the local governments of noncapital area should encouage public transportation more.
The local governments in Korea face to a decrease of population.
I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reason why local population has decreased.
One of my coworker said that the reason she decided to come back her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

Also lack of public trasportation is related to global climate crisis.
In my city, many workers commute to their office by driving cars.
It is so critical to earth because many cars use fossil fuel.

Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public trasportation.
For example, many gorvernment officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in old downtown.
So we need to increase the bus routes from new town to the city hall during rush hour.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

This is a meaningful essay, Min. ^^ I am glad that you were able to give valuable reasons on why the government should encourage people to use public transportation more.
-Khai 

I think that the local governments of noncapital area should encouage public transportation more.

>> I think that the local governments of noncapital areas should encourage public transportation more.

The local governments in Korea face to a decrease of population.

>> The local governments in Korea face a decrease in population.

I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reason why local population has decreased.

>> I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reasons why the local population has decreased.

One of my coworker said that the reason she decided to come back her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

>> One of my coworkers said that the reason she decided to come back to her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

Also lack of public trasportation is related to global climate crisis.

>> Also, the lack of public transportation is related to the global climate crisis.

In my city, many workers commute to their office by driving cars.

>> CORRECT

It is so critical to earth because many cars use fossil fuel.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This causes pollution because many cars use fossil fuel.

Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public trasportation.

>> Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public transportation.

For example, many gorvernment officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in old downtown.

>> For example, many government officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in the old downtown.

So we need to increase the bus routes from new town to the city hall during rush hour.

>> So we need to increase the bus routes from the new town to the city hall during rush hour.


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