¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

My opinion that governments should encourage pubilc trasportation

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2024-03-10 705

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that the local governments of noncapital area should encouage public transportation more.
The local governments in Korea face to a decrease of population.
I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reason why local population has decreased.
One of my coworker said that the reason she decided to come back her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

Also lack of public trasportation is related to global climate crisis.
In my city, many workers commute to their office by driving cars.
It is so critical to earth because many cars use fossil fuel.

Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public trasportation.
For example, many gorvernment officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in old downtown.
So we need to increase the bus routes from new town to the city hall during rush hour.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

This is a meaningful essay, Min. ^^ I am glad that you were able to give valuable reasons on why the government should encourage people to use public transportation more.
-Khai 

I think that the local governments of noncapital area should encouage public transportation more.

>> I think that the local governments of noncapital areas should encourage public transportation more.

The local governments in Korea face to a decrease of population.

>> The local governments in Korea face a decrease in population.

I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reason why local population has decreased.

>> I think traffic inconvenience is one of the reasons why the local population has decreased.

One of my coworker said that the reason she decided to come back her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

>> One of my coworkers said that the reason she decided to come back to her hometown is the traffic inconvenience.

Also lack of public trasportation is related to global climate crisis.

>> Also, the lack of public transportation is related to the global climate crisis.

In my city, many workers commute to their office by driving cars.

>> CORRECT

It is so critical to earth because many cars use fossil fuel.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> This causes pollution because many cars use fossil fuel.

Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public trasportation.

>> Therefore I think the local governments should make a plan to encourage people to use public transportation.

For example, many gorvernment officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in old downtown.

>> For example, many government officers in my city live in a new town and the city hall is located in the old downtown.

So we need to increase the bus routes from new town to the city hall during rush hour.

>> So we need to increase the bus routes from the new town to the city hall during rush hour.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134640 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 140
134639 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134638 Why living forever is not so good ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134637 Do you like meeting new people? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 175
134636 If you were asked to work in the weekend with a good... ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 482
134635 What are your top priorities in looking for a job? (ex: salary,... õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 238
134634 Why is it beneficial to take part in school organizations/clubs? õ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 418
134633 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134632 HOMEWORK Ȳ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 288
134631 Control And Hide My Anger ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 242
134630 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 272
134629 What do you like eating while watching a movie? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 485
134628 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 320
134627 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134626 About meeting new people °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 398
134625 homework 2024-02-13 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1
134624 Would you rather always be 10 minutes late or always be 20... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 0
134623 homework01 È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 2
134622 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 1
134621 What kind of flowers represent love in your country ? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-13 247

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04