¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In what way is learning English an adventure for you?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*Áö
2024-03-08 624

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Learning English is an adventure in that I have to keep trying continuously for me. I have to do a lot. I have to work and play the role of a wife and mom. In this busy situation, learning english hard is that I have to live busier. As time is limited, we have to choose and focus on something.Otherwise, I can do everything by reducing my sleep time.
For this reason, I wake up early in the morning around 5 a.m. o'clock during the week.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Min Jee, thank you for working on your homework. Here are some changes for you to review. The sentences have been simplified for better understanding and rewritten for clarity. I've also made some grammar corrections. 
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

Learning English is an adventure in that I have to keep trying continuously for me. 
>>> Learning English is an adventure for me because I have to keep trying continuously. 
I have to do a lot. 
>>> I have many responsibilities—
I have to work and play the role of a wife and mom. 
>>> I work and play the role of a wife and mom. 
In this busy situation, learning english hard is that I have to live busier. 
>>> In this busy situation, learning English is hard because it means I have to live even busier. 
As time is limited, we have to choose and focus on something. 
>>> Time is limited, so I have to choose and focus on something. 
Otherwise, I can do everything by reducing my sleep time.
>>> Otherwise, I could do everything by reducing my sleep time. 
For this reason, I wake up early in the morning around 5 a.m. o'clock during the week.
>>> That's why I wake up early in the morning around 5 a.m. during the week.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
134087 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 0
134086 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What is your... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134085 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134084 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 0
134083 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 423
134082 Do you agree or disagree with the following statemet? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 688
134081 homework 2024-01-22 ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134080 What games do you love to play with your friends? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 318
134079 WRITING TASK: Why do you think printed brochures are still... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 8
134078 Most Favorite thing °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 418
134077 Save the earth ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 466
134076 Who are the people you haven¡¯t seen for a while? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134075 What are the things that are irreplaceable in your life? ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134074 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 1
134073 Inner beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 547
134072 essay 8 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 857
134071 The best vacation with my friends ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 528
134070 Answer of conversation question no.3. ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 184
134069 What part of Korean tradition are you most proud of? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-22 2
134068 >> Is mental health more important than physical health? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-21 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04