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Discuss the importance of friendship in your life.

작성자: 황*은
2024-03-07 1478

회원님의 영작문

In my life, friendship is quite important. It is like a spice in my life! It gives me joy and makes me feel my life abundant.
If my friendship is destroyed, I may not believe myself and many aspects of my life will be affected. Some people say 'never mind what others think about you' but I think that's nonesense as well as not a good way to improve oneself. I think it is always important to stay in the right point and ignoring other's opinion is not as right point as being conscious of their thinking too much. Maintaining a good relationship is similar. It means people see me as a good person( positive feedback) so I can believe myself more(Of course friendship shouldn't be the only reason we believe ourselves)and concentrate to my work more easily. That's why I think friendship is important beside from the joy it gives.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi Seong Eun, 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the importance of friendship. Your analogy of friendship being like a spice in life is spot on - it adds flavor and richness to our experiences. Your perspective on the impact of friendship on self-belief and personal growth is insightful. Indeed, nurturing positive relationships can provide valuable feedback and support, contributing to our overall well-being and confidence. Keep valuing those meaningful connections in your life! 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

In my life, friendship is quite important.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Friendship holds significant importance in my life. 

It is like a spice in my life!  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>It's like adding spice to my life! 

It gives me joy and makes me feel my life abundant. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>It brings me joy and enriches my life. 

If my friendship is destroyed, I may not believe myself and many aspects of my life will be affected.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>If my friendships falter, it could lead to self-doubt and impact various aspects of my life. 

Some people say 'never mind what others think about you' but I think that's nonesense as well as not a good way to improve oneself.  

>>Some people say 'never mind what others think about you' but I think that's nonsense as well as not a good way to improve oneself.  

I think it is always important to stay in the right point and ignoring other's opinion is not as right point as being conscious of their thinking too much.  

>>I think it is always important to stay on the right point and ignoring other's opinions is not as right point as being conscious of their thinking too much.  

Maintaining a good relationship is similar.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Maintaining a strong bond shares similarities. 

It means people see me as a good person( positive feedback) so I can believe myself more(Of course friendship shouldn't be the only reason we believe ourselves)and concentrate to my work more easily.  

>>It means that when people see me as a good person, it is positive feedback. I can believe in myself more. However, friendship shouldn't be the only reason we believe in ourselves; we should also concentrate on our work more easily. 

That's why I think friendship is important beside from the joy it gives. 

>>That's why I think friendship is important aside from the joy it gives. 

 

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