¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-03-06 1998

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
I could spend all of my time to be happy today.
Everything was perfect.
I woke up with a good emotion.
After the class, I rode a car to take my kids to their school; their vacation was finished.
And then, my wife and I went to a cinema and watched a movie "Digging the grave".
In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only little probability and I saw many awkward transition all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat.
That's because we could spend our time without kids after a long time.
Our lunch also was satisfying.
After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids to home.
I could meet a friend of Irene, it was meaningful, I guess.
In the guitar class, the teacher praised me about improvement and diligence.
My family and I ate a grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.
After dinner, my kids and my wife played Nintendo game.
I felt large amount of happiness while watching them.
MJ didn't bother me as I expected.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

By this time, your life had stabilized. Everything is running smoothly and peacefully. It is true that life is full of adversities and stress however, it is also a choice to be happy and contented. In short, the toxicity level that we allow in our lives is the decision we make all the time.

Anyway, I learned much about the movie 'Digging the Grave' from you today. Since we grew up watching excellent quality movie plots, it is easy to spot a good movie from the average ones. Thank you for sharing the synopsis as well as your critical review of the logical flow of the story.

I wish you more days as yesterday and even happier ones! Since you quit dealing with negativity, your life has now more rooms for positive energies and connections. Whatever lies ahead including success in your clinic, you truly deserve it.

Please study the underlined grammar suggestions and make sure to incorporate them on your next compositions. Well done!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I could spend all of my time to be happy today.
>> Correct!

Everything was perfect.
>> Correct!

I woke up with a good emotion.
>> Correct!

After the class, I rode a car to take my kids to their school; their vacation was finished.
>> Correct! 

And then, my wife and I went to a cinema and watched a movie "Digging the grave".
>> Correct
Or: "Digging the Grave"

In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only little probability and I saw many awkward transition all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat.
>> In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only a little probability and I saw many awkward transitions all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat. Very good sentence!

That's because we could spend our time without kids after a long time.
>> That's because we could spend our time without  the kids after a long time.

Our lunch also was satisfying.
>> Correct!
Or:  Our lunch was also satisfying.

After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids to home.
>>After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids home.

I could meet a friend of Irene, it was meaningful, I guess.
>> Correct!
Or: I met a friend of Irene and I guess it was meaningful.

In the guitar class, the teacher praised me about improvement and diligence.
>> In the guitar class, the teacher praised me for my improvement and diligence.

My family and I ate a grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.
>> My family and I ate grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.

After dinner, my kids and my wife played Nintendo game.
>> After dinner, my kids and my wife played a Nintendo game.

I felt large amount of happiness while watching them.
>> I felt a huge amount of happiness while watching them.

MJ didn't bother me as I expected.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
126826 Homework Àü*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1471
126825 What are the disadvantages of using food delivery services? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1
126824 Are there any forbidden places in your country? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1
126823 Stop woring out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 0
126822 What food from other countries have you tried and liked the most? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1
126821 homework ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 918
126820 3.23 Homework ¹Ú*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1065
126819 Do you think social media is good for people? Why or why not? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 3
126818 3.24 homework ±Ç*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 997
126817 Festival Àå*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1446
126816 HOMEWORK FOR 03/22 Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 4
126815 Opinion about Eating outdoors ¹é*¾ð ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 0
126814 Trend ±Ç*ÀÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 0
126813 21.Mar.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 0
126812 An apple a day ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 1236
126811 The habit ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 665
126810 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-03-23 714
126809 3/22nd homework. ¼®*°á ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 3
126808 i know for sure what to fix now À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1099
126807 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-03-22 1065

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04