¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-03-06 1487

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
I could spend all of my time to be happy today.
Everything was perfect.
I woke up with a good emotion.
After the class, I rode a car to take my kids to their school; their vacation was finished.
And then, my wife and I went to a cinema and watched a movie "Digging the grave".
In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only little probability and I saw many awkward transition all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat.
That's because we could spend our time without kids after a long time.
Our lunch also was satisfying.
After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids to home.
I could meet a friend of Irene, it was meaningful, I guess.
In the guitar class, the teacher praised me about improvement and diligence.
My family and I ate a grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.
After dinner, my kids and my wife played Nintendo game.
I felt large amount of happiness while watching them.
MJ didn't bother me as I expected.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

By this time, your life had stabilized. Everything is running smoothly and peacefully. It is true that life is full of adversities and stress however, it is also a choice to be happy and contented. In short, the toxicity level that we allow in our lives is the decision we make all the time.

Anyway, I learned much about the movie 'Digging the Grave' from you today. Since we grew up watching excellent quality movie plots, it is easy to spot a good movie from the average ones. Thank you for sharing the synopsis as well as your critical review of the logical flow of the story.

I wish you more days as yesterday and even happier ones! Since you quit dealing with negativity, your life has now more rooms for positive energies and connections. Whatever lies ahead including success in your clinic, you truly deserve it.

Please study the underlined grammar suggestions and make sure to incorporate them on your next compositions. Well done!

See you!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I could spend all of my time to be happy today.
>> Correct!

Everything was perfect.
>> Correct!

I woke up with a good emotion.
>> Correct!

After the class, I rode a car to take my kids to their school; their vacation was finished.
>> Correct! 

And then, my wife and I went to a cinema and watched a movie "Digging the grave".
>> Correct
Or: "Digging the Grave"

In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only little probability and I saw many awkward transition all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat.
>> In my opinion, it was not such a good movie because there were only a little probability and I saw many awkward transitions all over the movie, nevertheless, we were satisfied somewhat. Very good sentence!

That's because we could spend our time without kids after a long time.
>> That's because we could spend our time without  the kids after a long time.

Our lunch also was satisfying.
>> Correct!
Or:  Our lunch was also satisfying.

After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids to home.
>>After lunch, we went to the school to take our kids home.

I could meet a friend of Irene, it was meaningful, I guess.
>> Correct!
Or: I met a friend of Irene and I guess it was meaningful.

In the guitar class, the teacher praised me about improvement and diligence.
>> In the guitar class, the teacher praised me for my improvement and diligence.

My family and I ate a grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.
>> My family and I ate grilled pork for dinner, and it tasted really good.

After dinner, my kids and my wife played Nintendo game.
>> After dinner, my kids and my wife played a Nintendo game.

I felt large amount of happiness while watching them.
>> I felt a huge amount of happiness while watching them.

MJ didn't bother me as I expected.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132609 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1518
132608 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it healthy... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132607 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132606 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1872
132605 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 0
132604 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132603 A memorable day ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132602 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1860
132601 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2326
132600 WRITING TASK: What is the most famous organization in your... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 3
132599 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1703
132598 the importance of effective communication ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1982
132597 I am under the weather ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132596 I am under the weather ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2
132595 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 1
132594 Q. Has the advent of robot vacuums changed or do you anticipate... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2
132593 homework ½Å*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2440
132592 What are the bad things about fashion? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 3156
132591 give an example of time when you received poor customer service. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2576
132590 Which hobbies do you think are the most difficult? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-21 2252

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04