¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Bullies

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-03-06 559

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any messages for bullies.
However, there are some bully students in my school.
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
Also I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie, thank you for working on your homework. Here are some changes for you to review. The sentences have been simplified for better understanding and rewritten for clarity. I've also made some grammar corrections.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I don't have any messages for bullies.
>>> CORRECT!!
However, there are some bully students in my school.
>>> However, there are some bully students in my school,
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
>>> usually girls who wear a lot of makeup and say bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
>>>I try not to get involved with them while I'm at school,
Also I don't talk to them first.
>>> and I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.
>>> But I'm not scared of them because they are the same age as me.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133640 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 443
133639 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133638 When should we accept or reject other people\'s opinions about... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 472
133637 What do you think of skydiving as a hobby? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 425
133636 1/2 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 318
133635 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133634 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133633 seafood ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 575
133632 When should we say yes and when should we say no? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 999
133631 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133630 Grammar Practice ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 271
133629 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133628 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 515
133627 My greetings to my family and friends ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 350
133626 What are your 2024 wishes? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 424
133625 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 277
133624 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 332
133623 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 332
133622 homework 01.03 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 425
133621 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-03 267

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04