¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Bullies

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-03-06 749

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I don't have any messages for bullies.
However, there are some bully students in my school.
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
Also I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie, thank you for working on your homework. Here are some changes for you to review. The sentences have been simplified for better understanding and rewritten for clarity. I've also made some grammar corrections.
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I don't have any messages for bullies.
>>> CORRECT!!
However, there are some bully students in my school.
>>> However, there are some bully students in my school,
They are usually girl, so they make-up too much and say a lot of bad words.
>>> usually girls who wear a lot of makeup and say bad words.
I try not to involved with them when I'm in the school.
>>>I try not to get involved with them while I'm at school,
Also I don't talk to them first.
>>> and I don't talk to them first.
But I don't scared of them because they are also same age with me.
>>> But I'm not scared of them because they are the same age as me.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137263 What is your favorite animal and why? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-19 0
137262 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-19 1
137261 popular ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-19 1
137260 What is the most difficult thing about learning English? Discuss... ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-18 652
137259 Homework for May 17 ÃÖ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-18 3
137258 What do you like most and least about museums? ¿À*¼Ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-18 0
137257 Do you think it is possible to love everyone? ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2024-05-18 616
137256 What\'s the best way to pass a job interview? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 894
137255 homework 05.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 906
137254 Is there any difference between young tourists and adult... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 0
137253 Movie review ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 463
137252 When should I stop communicating with someone? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 973
137251 Question and Homework ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 776
137250 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 1
137249 Would you rather have a stressful, high-paying job or a relaxed,... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 517
137248 2024.05.17 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 2
137247 What do you like most and least about museums? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 649
137246 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 582
137245 In your own opinion, why do you think some people don\'t like... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 713
137244 What types of leisure activities are popular in your country? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-05-17 823

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04