무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

1. Why did you decide to apply for this position?

작성자: 최*은
2024-03-06 717

회원님의 영작문

▶ Why did you decide to apply for this position?

Preventing safety accidents is rewarding. I participated in field training at the Environmental Evaluation Center of the Korea Institute of Industrial Technology, and there were no accidents or injuries during the time I was in the laboratory.
I used to clear up drugs with a name tag to the distinction clear, because the names of the drugs stored on the shelves are not clearly visible.
Also, I recommended people who use my laboratory to wear lab clothes and goggles. Thanks to these efforts, I was able to create a safe laboratory.
This was the trigger, so I got a writing certificate for industrial safety and dangerous goods.
and I acquired notes from an industrial safety engineer and a dangerous goods industry engineer.
I will Improve my work expertise by obtaining a engineer’s certificate as soon as possible.

I hope to advance my career as a member of your company.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Goeun,  

 

Great job on your response to this interview question. I'm impressed by your response to the question about why you decided to apply for the Safety Manager position. Your dedication to preventing safety accidents and your proactive approach to creating a safe laboratory environment truly shine through in your answer. It's evident that you have a genuine passion for safety and a strong commitment to ensuring the well-being of others. 

 

Overall, your response showcases your qualifications, experiences, and enthusiasm for the Safety Manager position. I have no doubt that your dedication and skills will make you a valuable asset to any company. Keep up the fantastic work, and I wish you the best of luck in your interview! 

 

Here's a suggestion for a response to the question "Why did you decide to apply for this position?" tailored for a Safety Manager position: 

 

I am drawn to this position because I am deeply passionate about ensuring safety in the workplace. My experiences during field training at the Environmental Evaluation Center of the Korea Institute of Industrial Technology reinforced the importance of proactive safety measures. During this time, I implemented initiatives such as organizing drugs with clear name tags and recommending safety attire for laboratory users. As a result, we were able to maintain a safe laboratory environment with no accidents or injuries. 

These experiences motivated me to further my expertise in industrial safety and dangerous goods. I obtained a writing certificate for industrial safety and dangerous goods and sought guidance from industry experts. Additionally, I am committed to enhancing my qualifications by obtaining an engineer’s certificate. 

I am excited about the opportunity to contribute my skills and passion for safety to your company. I believe that my proactive approach and dedication to safety align well with the values of your organization. I am eager to learn and grow professionally, and I am confident that my contributions will make a positive impact on safety outcomes. 

Thank you for considering my application. I am enthusiastic about the prospect of advancing my career with your company and contributing to its success.


~Teacher Cathy 

  

Preventing safety accidents is rewarding.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Ensuring safety and preventing accidents is rewarding. 

I participated in field training at the Environmental Evaluation Center of the Korea Institute of Industrial Technology, and there were no accidents or injuries during the time I was in the laboratory. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>During my participation in field training at the Environmental Evaluation Center of the Korea Institute of Industrial Technology, there were no accidents or injuries in the laboratory. 

I used to clear up drugs with a name tag to the distinction clear because the names of the drugs stored on the shelves are not clearly visible. 

>>I used to clear up drugs with a name tag to the distinction clear because the names of the drugs stored on the shelves were not clearly visible. 

OR>>I used to organize drugs by placing name tags to clearly distinguish them, as the names of the drugs stored on the shelves were not clearly visible 

Also, I recommended people who use my laboratory to wear lab clothes and goggles.  

>>Also I recommended people who use my laboratory wear lab clothes and goggles. 

OR>>Additionally, I advised individuals using my laboratory to wear lab coats and goggles. 

Thanks to these efforts, I was able to create a safe laboratory. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>Thanks to these efforts, I successfully established a safe laboratory environment. 

This was the trigger, so I got a writing certificate for industrial safety and dangerous goods. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>As a result, I obtained a certification in industrial safety and hazardous materials handling due to this incident. 

And I acquired notes from an industrial safety engineer and a dangerous goods industry engineer. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I obtained notes from both an industrial safety engineer and a hazardous materials handling engineer. 

I will Improve my work expertise by obtaining a engineer’s certificate as soon as possible. 

>> I will improve my work expertise by obtaining an engineer’s certificate as soon as possible. 

OR>>I will enhance my professional expertise by obtaining an engineer’s certificate as soon as possible. 

I hope to advance my career as a member of your company. 

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I aspire to advance my career as a member of your company. 

번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
135998 WRITING TASK: Can technology or devices assist in managing... 임*지 완료 2024-04-01 7
135997 homework 이*수 완료 2024-04-01 570
135996 HOMEWORK: Write a composition about your favorite activity with... 이*은 완료 2024-04-01 626
135995 test6 Te*002 완료 2024-04-01 1046
135994 test5 Te*002 완료 2024-04-01 1085
135993 test4 Te*002 완료 2024-04-01 409
135992 test3 Te*002 완료 2024-04-01 582
135991 Specific challenge that taught me a valuable lesson 오*솜 완료 2024-04-01 1
135990 season 권*희 완료 2024-04-01 843
135989 How do you decide what to do first when you have a lot to do? 박*은 완료 2024-04-01 931
135988 Buy a used car 양*연 완료 2024-04-01 762
135987 Do you agree that a kid\'s accomplishment is the parent\'s... 김*지 완료 2024-04-01 871
135986 Homework 김*님 완료 2024-04-01 684
135985 Most experience in our lives that seemed difficult at the time... 정*훈 완료 2024-04-01 505
135984 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-04-01 1
135983 HOMEWORK 박*은 완료 2024-04-01 1
135982 Page. 30 김*진 완료 2024-03-31 4
135981 Are you scared of strangers? Why? 차*진 완료 2024-03-31 1001
135980 What does your best friend like that you also like. Explain your... 차*혁 완료 2024-03-31 619
135979 homework 박*혜 완료 2024-03-31 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]