¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-03-05 776

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening.
Today was hectic.
It's somewhat weird because I always have thought that I was comfortable every Tuesday.
Working alone is for sure harder.
However, I guess that I felt happy working without him in the past.
Anyway, since there was no devil, our clinic was full of peace all day.
There was no more event about MJ.
I quitted joining our franchise, maybe this made him unhappier although I didn't mean it.
I decided to raise the salary of one manager, so I called her into my office.
I told her about her salary increase.
She is now 21 years, but she has a good responsibility and diligence and desire to improve herself.
I ate lunch with her and chief manager.
They seemed to be awkward because this was the first time to eat something with me.
I told them that I will change many things after MJ leaves.
I really want to make my clinic which gives happiness to me and my staff.
The expression of many staff already changed better because they got to know about MJ's leaving.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

First of all, your composition was almost perfect, congratulations! Truly, tough times makes you write and speak better English. However, I do not wish you more stress and headache just so you can speak good English. ^^

Anyway, finally you broke out the news about Dr. MJ to your staff. Now, your staff can work with ease and excellence. It is true that your staff need some level of work stress when they have to do things perfectly but they do not need more anxiety when someone does not support and believe them such as Dr. MJ.

This time, I guess, you also need to keep a safe distance from your managers and staff to maintain professional relations and avoid favoritism amongst them.

Then, your self s your only enemy in this setting. You will question and challenge your own decisions when the time comes that you will be finally alone. So always choose wisely in every situation.

I wish you all the best in your 'new' clinic soon.

Please browse over the suggestion I made for one of your sentences below.

See you then. 

-T. Donna~ 

Good evening.
>> Correct!

Today was hectic.
>> Correct!

It's somewhat weird because I always have thought that I was comfortable every Tuesday.
>> Correct!

Working alone is for sure harder.
>> Correct!

However, I guess that I felt happy working without him in the past.
>> Correct!

Anyway, since there was no devil, our clinic was full of peace all day.
>> Correct! Hahahaha! =)

There was no more event about MJ.
>> Correct!

I quitted joining our franchise, maybe this made him unhappier although I didn't mean it.
>> Correct!

I decided to raise the salary of one manager, so I called her into my office.
>> Correct!

I told her about her salary increase.
>> Correct!

She is now 21 years, but she has a good responsibility and diligence and desire to improve herself.
>> She is now 21 years old, but she has a good responsibility, diligence, and desire to improve herself.

I ate lunch with her and chief manager.
>> I ate lunch with her and the chief manager.

They seemed to be awkward because this was the first time to eat something with me.
>> Correct!

I told them that I will change many things after MJ leaves.
>> Correct!

I really want to make my clinic which gives happiness to me and my staff.
>> Correct!

The expression of many staff already changed better because they got to know about MJ's leaving.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132737 If you could change one thing about your neighborhood, what... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1157
132736 What does your school like? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 901
132735 When are you most proud of your nationality? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132734 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 3
132733 If you were to create your own fashion line, what would be the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-25 1065
132732 What\'s the most important thing to do to handle and accept... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 747
132731 What different ways are there to cook potatoes? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 984
132730 Would you like dual nationality? What are the benefits? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132729 The last time I stayed over ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1073
132728 I go to karaoke when I\'m stressed out. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 2
132727 homework 11.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 992
132726 Would you rather clean your room or wash the dishes after dinner? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 787
132725 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1
132724 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 775
132723 Do you think Christmas is the best holiday of the year? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 922
132722 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it really... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 2
132721 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1437
132720 Meeting the deadlines ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1610
132719 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 0
132718 What would you feel if one of your colleagues talked bad about... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1256

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04