¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2024-03-05 497

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Good evening.
Today was hectic.
It's somewhat weird because I always have thought that I was comfortable every Tuesday.
Working alone is for sure harder.
However, I guess that I felt happy working without him in the past.
Anyway, since there was no devil, our clinic was full of peace all day.
There was no more event about MJ.
I quitted joining our franchise, maybe this made him unhappier although I didn't mean it.
I decided to raise the salary of one manager, so I called her into my office.
I told her about her salary increase.
She is now 21 years, but she has a good responsibility and diligence and desire to improve herself.
I ate lunch with her and chief manager.
They seemed to be awkward because this was the first time to eat something with me.
I told them that I will change many things after MJ leaves.
I really want to make my clinic which gives happiness to me and my staff.
The expression of many staff already changed better because they got to know about MJ's leaving.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Dr. Kim!

First of all, your composition was almost perfect, congratulations! Truly, tough times makes you write and speak better English. However, I do not wish you more stress and headache just so you can speak good English. ^^

Anyway, finally you broke out the news about Dr. MJ to your staff. Now, your staff can work with ease and excellence. It is true that your staff need some level of work stress when they have to do things perfectly but they do not need more anxiety when someone does not support and believe them such as Dr. MJ.

This time, I guess, you also need to keep a safe distance from your managers and staff to maintain professional relations and avoid favoritism amongst them.

Then, your self s your only enemy in this setting. You will question and challenge your own decisions when the time comes that you will be finally alone. So always choose wisely in every situation.

I wish you all the best in your 'new' clinic soon.

Please browse over the suggestion I made for one of your sentences below.

See you then. 

-T. Donna~ 

Good evening.
>> Correct!

Today was hectic.
>> Correct!

It's somewhat weird because I always have thought that I was comfortable every Tuesday.
>> Correct!

Working alone is for sure harder.
>> Correct!

However, I guess that I felt happy working without him in the past.
>> Correct!

Anyway, since there was no devil, our clinic was full of peace all day.
>> Correct! Hahahaha! =)

There was no more event about MJ.
>> Correct!

I quitted joining our franchise, maybe this made him unhappier although I didn't mean it.
>> Correct!

I decided to raise the salary of one manager, so I called her into my office.
>> Correct!

I told her about her salary increase.
>> Correct!

She is now 21 years, but she has a good responsibility and diligence and desire to improve herself.
>> She is now 21 years old, but she has a good responsibility, diligence, and desire to improve herself.

I ate lunch with her and chief manager.
>> I ate lunch with her and the chief manager.

They seemed to be awkward because this was the first time to eat something with me.
>> Correct!

I told them that I will change many things after MJ leaves.
>> Correct!

I really want to make my clinic which gives happiness to me and my staff.
>> Correct!

The expression of many staff already changed better because they got to know about MJ's leaving.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
137821 What are the best qualities of your school? Write at least two. ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 2
137820 What activity do you want to do during the Summer season? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 432
137819 good mood ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 1
137818 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 510
137817 June 12th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 583
137816 Home work! ÀÓ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 452
137815 HOMEWORK DAY 3 ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 535
137814 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 543
137813 Q) What¡¯s the best Christmas you¡¯ve ever had? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 1
137812 HOMEWORK ÁÖ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 499
137811 What are the potential benefits of drinking plant-based milk... ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 608
137810 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 579
137809 HOMEWORK FOR 06.13.2024 WRITING TASK: What comes to your mind... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 3
137808 Why is it important to take pictures? ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 689
137807 The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 678
137806 Do you think skin color affects whether a person is regarded as... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 562
137805 HOMEWORK Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 523
137804 Performance assessment ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 513
137803 What did you like about school when you were a child? ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 0
137802 homework ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-13 613

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04