¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-05 905

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?

Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities fashion and body shape are standard of beauty.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?


Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
>> Recently, "ketogenic diet" was quite a trend for losing weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
>> But, I think there's something wrong with this kind of diet in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
>> Originally, ketogenic-dieters eat salads, eggs, and small pieces of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
>> However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogenic diet, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
>> But, they mainly eat meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
>> So, as a result, I heard no one who had successful stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
>> CORRECT!
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
>> And the reason why so many people lose weight or do diet is because of the influence of social media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
>> Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweight is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
>> Ths problem happens to many students and teenagers who want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities' fashion and body shape are standards of beauty.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132711 What is the advantages of working in the hotel industries? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-24 1971
132710 how to cancel my appointment ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1446
132709 Making me laugh ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1983
132708 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1
132707 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1
132706 homework 11.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1662
132705 Weekend ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2
132704 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1
132703 Where is your favorite place in the world? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1553
132702 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2183
132701 Describe your dream house in not less than 3 sentences. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1948
132700 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2689
132699 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1666
132698 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it really... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2
132697 What is it about junk food that is so bad for us? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2
132696 My common sickness ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1
132695 University ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2742
132694 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1675
132693 First class ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1
132692 What do I spend my day thinking about most? ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2533

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04