¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-05 833

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?

Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities fashion and body shape are standard of beauty.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?


Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
>> Recently, "ketogenic diet" was quite a trend for losing weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
>> But, I think there's something wrong with this kind of diet in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
>> Originally, ketogenic-dieters eat salads, eggs, and small pieces of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
>> However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogenic diet, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
>> But, they mainly eat meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
>> So, as a result, I heard no one who had successful stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
>> CORRECT!
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
>> And the reason why so many people lose weight or do diet is because of the influence of social media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
>> Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweight is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
>> Ths problem happens to many students and teenagers who want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities' fashion and body shape are standards of beauty.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133916 Cooking ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2
133915 Shopping ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 5
133914 Free Writing ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 943
133913 Disadvantages of trying local cuisines ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2063
133912 9.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133911 03.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 997
133910 02.Jan.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 0
133909 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 1455
133908 What can you say about the generation gap? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-16 2
133907 Standing the heat ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 968
133906 If you had teleporting abilities, what¡¯s the first place you... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 0
133905 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 956
133904 What is a big world problem that you would like to change? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 759
133903 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1167
133902 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1
133901 Please call me by cell-phone °­*¼® ÁøÇàÁß 2024-01-15 9
133900 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 279
133899 Extra layers is a must today! do*eun ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1173
133898 Convenience life °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 1301
133897 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-15 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04