¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-05 225

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?

Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities fashion and body shape are standard of beauty.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are some popular diets or eating trends in your country? Do you think they are effective?


Until recently, "ketogenic diet" are very trends for lose weight.
>> Recently, "ketogenic diet" was quite a trend for losing weight.
But, I think this kinds of diets, it's something wrong in Korea compared to other countries.
>> But, I think there's something wrong with this kind of diet in Korea compared to other countries.
Originally, ketogeni-dieter eat salad, eggs, and small peace of meat.
>> Originally, ketogenic-dieters eat salads, eggs, and small pieces of meat.
However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogeni, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
>> However, in the case of Koreans who did ketogenic diet, they didn't eat carbohydrates such as rice, noodles, and bread.
But, they ate mainly meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
>> But, they mainly eat meat such as pork belly, chicken, and fried food.
So, as a result I hear no one succese stories.
>> So, as a result, I heard no one who had successful stories.
Actually, this diet trend was created by celebrities.
>> CORRECT!
And the reason why so many people go on a lose weight or diet is influenced by the media.
>> And the reason why so many people lose weight or do diet is because of the influence of social media.
Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweithgt is also problem.
>> Obesity is a problem, but excessive underweight is also problem.
Ths problem is many students and teenagers want to have an idol's body.
>> Ths problem happens to many students and teenagers who want to have an idol's body.
This is why teenagers think that celebrities' fashion and body shape are standards of beauty.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135541 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 506
135540 Do you know k-pop? ;) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 481
135539 my first storm story :) À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 433
135538 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 306
135537 patience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 2
135536 Aside from eggs, what other kinds of food are a great source of... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 500
135535 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 2
135534 Do you think it\'s important for businesses to follow ethical... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 563
135533 Do you have any fond memories of dining at family restaurants... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 457
135532 Vocabulary ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 530
135531 HOMEWORK FOR 03.15.2024 WRITING TASK: How do Koreans... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 5
135530 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 246
135529 In your opinion, what is the ideal length of a vacation or trip... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 585
135528 Looking for advice online ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 518
135527 Do you allow other people to suddenly fix your hair or wipe the... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135526 Should you always give an \"update\" to your boyfriend if you... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 4
135525 Describe an important choice you had to make in your life ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135524 How do you treat your friends? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 0
135523 homework - it is not easy to ahieve our life. ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-15 337
135522 homework À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-03-14 440

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04