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Was I rude in the subway?

작성자: 김*민
2024-03-04 612

회원님의 영작문

I want to tell you a bad expericence when I was in university.
I lived with my grandparents, my mother's parents, in Daegu, because the university I graduated was located in Daegu.
And my grandparents' home is close to subway station, so I commuted to university by the subway.

I used to put on lipstick when I was on the verge of being late for class or appointment with my friends.
One day, I took a subway urgently, sat on the seat, and tried to wear a lipstick.
As soon as I took lipstick out in my bag, an old lady-she sat in front of me- shouted to me.
After that, she criticized me that I had no sense of shame, and she said the scent of lipstick makes people uncomfortable.
At that time, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to run away from this train.

But now I wonder if I was reprehensible at that time.
Maybe she would think that it is rude to doing makeup on the public trasportaion, but she couldn't feel the scent of my lipstick!
Did she want to put me to shame? I can't understand.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hi, Min. There are possible reasons why the old lady said that. One reason is that she might be traditional and feel like you should be prepared already when you leave your house. Another possible reason is that maybe she had a traumatizing experience before and was annoyed with the scent of lipstick. Nevertheless, I feel that she shouldn’t shout at you. Instead, it’s better if she could have told you in a kind way. Anyway, we don’t know what was going on with her life at that time; maybe she was having a bad day. Don’t worry; I think the other people at that time thought that the situation was okay and there’s nothing to be angry about. ^^
I want to tell you a bad expericence when I was in university.

>> I want to tell you about a bad experience when I was in university.

I lived with my grandparents, my mother's parents, in Daegu, because the university I graduated was located in Daegu.
>> I lived with my grandparents, my mother's parents, in Daegu because the university I graduated from was located in Daegu.
And my grandparents' home is close to subway station, so I commuted to university by the subway.
>> My grandparents' home is close to the subway station, so I commuted to the university by subway.
I used to put on lipstick when I was on the verge of being late for class or appointment with my friends.
>> I used to put on lipstick when I was on the verge of being late for class or an appointment with my friends.
One day, I took a subway urgently, sat on the seat, and tried to wear a lipstick.
>> One day, I took the subway urgently, sat on the seat, and tried to wear lipstick.
As soon as I took lipstick out in my bag, an old lady-she sat in front of me- shouted to me.
>> As soon as I took lipstick out of my bag, an old lady sat in front of me and shouted at me.
After that, she criticized me that I had no sense of shame, and she said the scent of lipstick makes people uncomfortable.

>> After that, she criticized me, saying that I had no sense of shame, and she said the scent of lipstick makes people uncomfortable.

At that time, I was so embarrassed that I wanted to run away from this train.

>> CORRECT

OR

>> I was so embarrassed at that time, and I felt that I wanted to disappear from that train.

But now I wonder if I was reprehensible at that time.

>> CORRECT

Maybe she would think that it is rude to doing makeup on the public trasportaion, but she couldn't feel the scent of my lipstick!
>> Maybe she would think that it is rude to do makeup on public transportation, but she couldn't really smell the scent of my lipstick!
Did she want to put me to shame? 

>> CORRECT

OR

>> Did she embarrass me?

I can't understand.
>> CORRECT
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