¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-04 1326

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?

These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time at their company.
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?


These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
>> These days, there are many people who have a requirement when they get a job or look for a job in a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
>> CORRECT!
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
>> This word means that many jobs require individual hobbies and the rest does not focus on the tasks in the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time in their company.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
>> But in reality, it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
>> But the reality is that if we work for a short amount of time, our salary will be reduced.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
>> It's also important to spend time with my family and for my hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
>> CORRECT!
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.
>> So, for that chance, our work-life balance will be shifted to one side.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133065 Refusing to do something ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1228
133064 homework 12.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1541
133063 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 3
133062 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1228
133061 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1538
133060 Homework 6 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2148
133059 Have you ever fought or had misunderstanding with a co-worker? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1902
133058 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What do you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2
133057 Tell me about the most fashionable people you know. ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2
133056 Why is learning English important? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 6
133055 HOMEWORK FOR 12.07.2023 WRITING TASK: What are the pros and cons... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 6
133054 HOMEWORK FOR 12.06.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you believe that there... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 11
133053 Why are fewer and fewer people getting married? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1509
133052 commitment to something ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1695
133051 Type of drink depending on place. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133050 homework ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133049 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 0
133048 I would probably like to take a selfie with my family or my... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 2298
133047 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1
133046 I think pronunciation is a problem that depends on effort. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-07 1529

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04