¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-04 764

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?

These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time at their company.
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?


These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
>> These days, there are many people who have a requirement when they get a job or look for a job in a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
>> CORRECT!
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
>> This word means that many jobs require individual hobbies and the rest does not focus on the tasks in the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time in their company.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
>> But in reality, it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
>> But the reality is that if we work for a short amount of time, our salary will be reduced.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
>> It's also important to spend time with my family and for my hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
>> CORRECT!
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.
>> So, for that chance, our work-life balance will be shifted to one side.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135838 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 478
135837 homework 03.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 924
135836 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 2
135835 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 535
135834 2023.03.25 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135833 Is there any holiday in other country that you wish Korea is... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 743
135832 What would you do if you could invisible for one day? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 615
135831 Do you think Mondays are the best or worst day of the week? Why? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135830 Is it good to have foreign friends? Why? ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 786
135829 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Why would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135828 What activities do you enjoy doing with your younger sister? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 899
135827 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 578
135826 cathedral ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135825 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 475
135824 Is it acceptable to use animals for experiments and research? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 572
135823 What was your first experience like when you started learning to... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 552
135822 WRITING TASK: What are the potential health risks associated... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 3
135821 Homework ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 1
135820 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 564
135819 How do you deal with your worries? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-25 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04