¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-04 840

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?

These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time at their company.
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How do you manage your time between work and family?


These days, there are many people has a requirement when they get a job or look for a job a company in South Korea.
>> These days, there are many people who have a requirement when they get a job or look for a job in a company in South Korea.
It's a work-life balance.
>> CORRECT!
This word mean that many works require individual hobbies and rest do not focus on work at the company.
>> This word means that many jobs require individual hobbies and the rest does not focus on the tasks in the company.
And, according to a recent survey, many people want personal rest more than work time in their company.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality it's not easy to do what we want.
>> But in reality, it's not easy to do what we want.
Actually, everyone wants to work less and earn a lot of money.
>> CORRECT!
But the reality is that if we work for a small time, our salary will be reduce.
>> But the reality is that if we work for a short amount of time, our salary will be reduced.
I'm also important to, time with family and hobbies.
>> It's also important to spend time with my family and for my hobbies.
However, if I don't have a money, I will miss the chance when I want to do something.
>> CORRECT!
So, for that the chance, the balance of our walk-life balance will be shifted to one side.
>> So, for that chance, our work-life balance will be shifted to one side.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136569 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing young people... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 700
136568 What is your favorite school memory that you think about from... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 770
136567 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136566 2024.04.19 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136565 When do you ask for favors? ¸Í*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 585
136564 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 511
136563 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1149
136562 First homework essay. ¼Û*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 699
136561 Whats your favorite subject? Why/ ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 635
136560 what do you want to change in your life? ±è*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136559 Make a sentence using the following words: Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 606
136558 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 2
136557 How do you prioritize spending quality time with your family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1
136556 HOMEWORK FOR 04.19.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you live life to... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 5
136555 advance ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 763
136554 Every misfortune is a blessing in disguise ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 804
136553 What kind of people are less likely to suffer from stress or... ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 0
136552 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 1067
136551 If you could change anything about your present home, what would... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-19 830
136550 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 564

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04