¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-03-03 393

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I think that leaving home country is good for me. But can have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee!^^ It's good to check your essay again! Thank you because you always remember to do your homework. Keep it up! Enjoy your the new semester too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think leaving my home country is good for me. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But can have a clear goal in mind.
>>> But [ I should ] have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
>>> If they [ won't think of developing ] their skill, they will [ fail ] [ in another ] country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
>>> And it is important to [ consider which country to go to.]
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
>>> For examples, [ if I won't develop my abilities, ] I can't go to good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.
>>> This situation requires a wise decision.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133560 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 522
133559 my introduce ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 4
133558 I think that is good thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 452
133557 I want to go on a world trip if I can travel anywhere in the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 249
133556 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 304
133555 I wouldn\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 211
133554 >> How much do you value your privacy? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133553 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 150
133552 Apologies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133551 Gadgets ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133550 Job ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133549 What¡¯s the latest news? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 1
133548 What are your thoughts on Memorial Day as a holiday? Is this... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 2
133547 My New Year\\\'s Resolution ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133546 What are you grateful for this year? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 0
133545 HOMEWORK FOR 12.29.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you like stretching?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133544 HOMEWORK FOR 12.28.2023 WRITING TASK: What don\'t you like about... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 5
133543 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 317
133542 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0
133541 How do you celebrate the New Year in your country? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04