¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2024-03-03 622

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people think it is a better way to leave their home country to improve their work and living opportunities, while others think staying in their own country is a better choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

I think that leaving home country is good for me. But can have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee!^^ It's good to check your essay again! Thank you because you always remember to do your homework. Keep it up! Enjoy your the new semester too!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think leaving my home country is good for me. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But can have a clear goal in mind.
>>> But [ I should ] have a clear goal in mind.
If they don't have any mind which upgrade their skill, they will be failed at other country.
>>> If they [ won't think of developing ] their skill, they will [ fail ] [ in another ] country.
And it is important to choose countries too.
>>> And it is important to [ consider which country to go to.]
For examples, i want to increase our abilities, i can't go good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
>>> For examples, [ if I won't develop my abilities, ] I can't go to good countries that have good people, good air, and traffic.
This situation is very wrong selection.
>>> This situation requires a wise decision.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136529 Name something you would like to improve about yourself and why. ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 579
136528 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 542
136527 What is your favorite Korean dish? Can you describe how it\'s... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 821
136526 If you can be a celebrity or influencer, which one do you want... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 804
136525 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 805
136524 What¡¯s the best hobby anyone could have? ÀÌ*Å ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 633
136523 2024.04.17 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 667
136522 HOMEWORK FOR 04.18.2024 WRITING TASK: What was the most... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 3
136521 HW ³ª*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 488
136520 If I leared playing basketball.. ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 792
136519 Do many young people in your country care about eating healthy? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 859
136518 Write 5 sentences that would describe your personality. ±æ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 13
136517 In what ways do you think technology has influenced family... À±*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 2
136516 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 733
136515 pitiful dogs ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 783
136514 What qualities do you think make someone a good firefighter, and... ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 566
136513 Fraud ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 749
136512 17.Apr.2024 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 1
136511 What are some benefits of switching to electric cars compared to... ±è*¿í ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 733
136510 Describe a person you know who is kind ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-04-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04