¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 03.01

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-03-01 512

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does dementia affect a person¡¯s daily life?


I think the dementia is a sad disease.
Most dementia have a harder time to the family around patients than do.
This means that most dementia patients don\'t know well if they has sick.
And, their behavior, memory and speaking style are becoming more and more child.
Healthy old people don\'t need a guardian all day.
But, the dementia patients must need a guardian.
Because, these patients can\'t live alone.
Actually, we already know well.
Investing our own time to take care of our family members or patients is a difficult choice.
And it\'s receive with a lot of stress.
Sadly, a lot of miserable reality comes out on the news.
That\'s why I was mentioned that this is a sad disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
How does dementia affect a person¡¯s daily life?



I think the dementia is a sad disease.
>> I think dementia is a sad disease.
Most dementia have a harder time to the family around patients than do.
>> Most patients with dementia have a hard time around their family members.
This means that most dementia patients don\'t know well if they has sick.
>> This means that most dementia patients don't know well if they are sick.
And, their behavior, memory and speaking style are becoming more and more child.
>> And, their behavior, memory and speaking style are becoming more like a child.
Healthy old people don't need a guardian all day.
>> CORRECT!
But, the dementia patients must need a guardian.
>> But, dementia patients must need a guardian.
Because, these patients can't live alone.
>> CORRECT!
Actually, we already know well.
>> Actually, we already know it well.
Investing our own time to take care of our family members or patients is a difficult choice.
>> CORRECT!
And it's receive with a lot of stress.
>> And we receive a lot of stress.
Sadly, a lot of miserable reality comes out on the news.
>> CORRECT!
That's why I was mentioned that this is a sad disease.
>> That's why I have mentioned that this is a sad disease.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131825 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 3
131824 Diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 0
131823 home work. ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 622
131822 What would you do if you won the lottery? Would your life change... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-22 1
131821 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 509
131820 What device do you think is the most useful 10 years from now?... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1
131819 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 742
131818 What fruit makes you happy? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 614
131817 What would you like to change about the education system of your... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 1118
131816 Some people have suggested that helping needy people is an... Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 383
131815 homework_231020 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 769
131814 Do you ever think that some music is just noise? Á¤*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 710
131813 Expectations from the class and from teacher. ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-21 658
131812 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 1
131811 homework 10.20 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 671
131810 How can Koreans celebrate Halloween without making the families... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 1
131809 How can you make a 3-year old toddler stop crying? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 1
131808 Why do you think people are afraid of ghosts even if they... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 716
131807 CHOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°What is the... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 0
131806 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-20 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04