¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-29 1693

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?

Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
But, always I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?


Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
>> Fortunately, I don't have any health problems yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
>> CORRECT!
But, always, I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
>> CORRECT!
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
>> It's because bad eating habits lead to diseases.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
>> CORRECT!
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
>> This disease is a problem in our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
>> Many people get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
>> Examples of strong-tasting food are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
>> I heard that if we get this disease, we will often get sick again, so we need to control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.
>> So, we need to control our diet in order to prevent these diseases.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
141055 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 689
141054 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 802
141053 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 894
141052 My homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 817
141051 What sort of gifts do people buy for the bridal couple? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1
141050 15Nov2024_Homework ±è*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 811
141049 young fashion ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 1
141048 the library ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 3
141047 Homework ³ë*ö ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 653
141046 About the aging population ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-11-19 562
141045 ESSAY: Nowadays, most countries improve their living standards... ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 4
141044 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 1
141043 Are you excited about anything coming up in the near future? ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 605
141042 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 655
141041 What do you think most people are worried about these days and... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 611
141040 Are there things/people at work that distract you so much that... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 941
141039 Home work ½Å*¶ó ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 596
141038 What cheers you up when you are sad? ¿À*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 639
141037 How is your father-in-law? Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 585
141036 Where do you think is the best place to live in South Korea... Â÷*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-11-18 585

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04