¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-29 1385

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?

Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
But, always I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?


Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
>> Fortunately, I don't have any health problems yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
>> CORRECT!
But, always, I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
>> CORRECT!
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
>> It's because bad eating habits lead to diseases.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
>> CORRECT!
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
>> This disease is a problem in our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
>> Many people get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
>> Examples of strong-tasting food are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
>> I heard that if we get this disease, we will often get sick again, so we need to control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.
>> So, we need to control our diet in order to prevent these diseases.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133240 Skin color ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1085
133239 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133238 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133237 What do you do at night that is different from during the day? Àü*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133236 IELTS TASK2(1) body2 and conclusion ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1059
133235 IELTS TASK2(1) introduce and body1 ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1040
133234 IELTS TASK1 ÃÖ*¸ù ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133233 What toys did you really like when you were little, and why do... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133232 homework 12.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1175
133231 Would you rather sleep late every day or get up early every... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 871
133230 What\'s your thought on having 3 days of weekend and 4 weekdays? ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1
133229 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2534
133228 What can people do to stop cyber-bullying? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 4
133227 How to be good at drawing? Provide at least three sentences... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133226 Do you think being a professional dancer would be a good job? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 2
133225 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"What would you... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133224 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 0
133223 Is life complicated? ÀÓ*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1208
133222 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1080
133221 My dailylife. °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-14 1057

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04