¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-29 1359

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?

Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
But, always I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?


Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
>> Fortunately, I don't have any health problems yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
>> CORRECT!
But, always, I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
>> CORRECT!
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
>> It's because bad eating habits lead to diseases.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
>> CORRECT!
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
>> This disease is a problem in our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
>> Many people get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
>> Examples of strong-tasting food are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
>> I heard that if we get this disease, we will often get sick again, so we need to control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.
>> So, we need to control our diet in order to prevent these diseases.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133486 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 2
133485 Final homework. ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 945
133484 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1565
133483 A long day ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1504
133482 People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a... Àå*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1338
133481 Which celebrity would you like to swap places with? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 2
133480 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1215
133479 Homework 12/22 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133478 What do you think is the most dangerous sport? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1555
133477 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133476 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 0
133475 Is it better to save your allowance or spend it? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 872
133474 Homework : unit 15 ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1
133473 Traditional ways of welcoming the New Year in my family. ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1158
133472 What can you say about your neighbor\'s standard of living? Are... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1366
133471 Is celebrating Christmas important in your family? Why or why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1408
133470 Trust ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1167
133469 >> What is the best place for a vacation in your country? Why is... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 6
133468 Are there any specific foods or drinks you believe contribute to... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1134
133467 What do you think are the worst fears? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-27 1035

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04