¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-29 1266

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?

Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
But, always I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?


Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
>> Fortunately, I don't have any health problems yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
>> CORRECT!
But, always, I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
>> CORRECT!
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
>> It's because bad eating habits lead to diseases.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
>> CORRECT!
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
>> This disease is a problem in our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
>> Many people get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
>> Examples of strong-tasting food are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
>> I heard that if we get this disease, we will often get sick again, so we need to control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.
>> So, we need to control our diet in order to prevent these diseases.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
136624 I want to know whether the content of this paragraph is okay °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 4
136623 homework 04.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1137
136622 If you could go back in time, what would you like to do after... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1078
136621 2024.04.22 ¼÷Á¦ ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136620 A good chance ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1243
136619 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136618 What is something that you miss doing? ÃÖ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1277
136617 My expectation from Sharon\'s power english class. ±è* ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136616 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1084
136615 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 7
136614 >> What\'s your ideal guy? Explain your answer. ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 2
136613 primarily ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136612 homework ±è*º° ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1
136611 How do you keep yourself both mentally and physically healthy? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1042
136610 How could art be appreciated and enjoyed by more people? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 982
136609 Which among the birthstones do you like best? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 748
136608 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 872
136607 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 939
136606 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1223
136605 2024.04.19 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-04-22 1011

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04