¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-29 1636

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?

Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
But, always I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Have you ever had to change your diet for health reasons?


Fortunately, I don't have health problem yet.
>> Fortunately, I don't have any health problems yet.
So, I don't need to change my diet for my health.
>> CORRECT!
But, always, I think I need to eat healthy food for my body.
>> CORRECT!
It's because bad eating habit easily occur to disease.
>> It's because bad eating habits lead to diseases.
And unexpectedly, we could get sick.
>> CORRECT!
For example, I heard that the Koreans often get "reflux esophagitis" these days.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is problem with our esophagus and stomach.
>> This disease is a problem in our esophagus and stomach.
Many people has get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
>> Many people get this disease, because of the westernization of food and strong-tasting food.
An example of strong-tasting are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
>> Examples of strong-tasting food are spicy, salty, oily, and sweet.
I heard that if we get this disease, if will be often get sick again, so we need control our diet.
>> I heard that if we get this disease, we will often get sick again, so we need to control our diet.
So, we need to diet in order to prevent disease.
>> So, we need to control our diet in order to prevent these diseases.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
139881 9/12(Thu) homework ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1384
139880 Why is it important to obey your parents? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1167
139879 Summer or winter vacation ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 990
139878 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 8
139877 Do you think you chose the right career path? Why or why not? ÇÑ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1482
139876 Are there any hobbies that you think are not worthwhile? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139875 mine ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139874 Do you think holidays are important? Why? Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1503
139873 HOMEWORK FOR 09.11.2024 WRITING TASK: How can you handle a... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139872 neighbor ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139871 homework ½É*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1
139870 HOMEWORK FOR 09/11 Writing Task ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 4
139869 Homework ³ë*ö ÁøÇàÁß 2024-09-12 1242
139868 What¡¯s something interesting or unique about drinking culture... ÀÓ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1292
139867 Homework : How often do you clean your room? What do you usually... ÀÌ*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2024-09-12 1535
139866 What chores are your responsibility? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 0
139865 Do you think you can teach someone to be successful? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1354
139864 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1
139863 home work ½Å*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 1447
139862 I like the conversation with the new person. ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-09-11 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04