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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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What is the best gift you have ever given to a friend? Why was it so special?

작성자: 박*호
2024-02-28 979

회원님의 영작문

In korean culture, Unlike women, it is not common for men to exchange gifts with each other.
Korean men prefer to meet and travel together, exercise, drink, and talk.
So I want to tell you an interesting story when I gave my eldest daughter a bicycle as a gift.
My eldest daughter wanted to have a bike when she was about 5 years old.
So I bought her a children's bike with auxiliary wheels for her birthday and she loved it.
And about a year later, I removed the auxiliary wheels to improve her cycling skills.
But my daughter complained to me because she wasn't used to riding a bike without auxiliary wheels and often fell.
But I told her that she had to get used to bicycles without assistive wheels.
My daughter, who fell often at first, gradually became accustomed to bicycles without assistive wheels, so she could ride a bicycle better than before.
My daughter must have learned a lesson to get away from familiarity in order to take a leap forward.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello there, Sun! 

Gifts could express love, appreciation, and admiration in ways that words often can't. In a relationship, gift-giving is important because it is a tangible representation of the effort put into nurturing the relationship.

- Kristine ^^ 

In korean culture, Unlike women, it is not common for men to exchange gifts with each other.
>> In contrast to women, men don't usually exchange gifts with one another in Korean culture.  
Korean men prefer to meet and travel together, exercise, drink, and talk.
>> Korean men like to get together, go on trips, work out, have drinks, and chat.
So I want to tell you an interesting story when I gave my eldest daughter a bicycle as a gift.
>> So allow me to share with you a fascinating story about the bicycle I got for my eldest daughter as a gift.
My eldest daughter wanted to have a bike when she was about 5 years old.
>> Correct.
So I bought her a children's bike with auxiliary wheels for her birthday and she loved it.
>> She was thrilled with the bike I got her for her birthday because it had auxillary wheels.
And about a year later, I removed the auxiliary wheels to improve her cycling skills.
>> Correct.
But my daughter complained to me because she wasn't used to riding a bike without auxiliary wheels and often fell.
>> Correct.
But I told her that she had to get used to bicycles without assistive wheels.
>> I told her that she needed to get used to riding a bicycle without pedal support.
My daughter, who fell often at first, gradually became accustomed to bicycles without assistive wheels, so she could ride a bicycle better than before.
>> My daughter wasn't very good at riding a bicycle at first, but she eventually got used to riding it without any auxillary wheels.
My daughter must have learned a lesson to get away from familiarity in order to take a leap forward.
>> Correct.
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