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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What advice would you give your past self?

작성자: 최*훈
2024-02-26 1294

회원님의 영작문

when I was student of elementary school, I moved to another school because I got stressed a lot from friendship. After I transferred to a new school, I was able to live happily more than before. I realized that I wasn't wrong person in relationship with people. New friends was so kind, and I enjoyed with them. I never had argued with them for 1 year before I attended to middle school. I want to advice to me who have difficulty in relationship with friends. Please you don't find a problem from oneself. You've put oneself first before thinks of others. In addition, you should to realize how important you are and do not undercut yourself. Lastly, It's better for you to move to another school as soon as possible.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hey Sarah! I really love how you've been answering all these homework for the past days. You've really been sharing more of your ideas and experiences. Keep it up!
~~Teacher Ryka^^


when I was student of elementary school, I moved to another school because I got stressed a lot from friendship. 
>> When I was an elementary school student, I transferred to a different school due to experiencing significant stress in my friendships.

After I transferred to a new school, I was able to live happily more than before. I realized that I wasn't wrong person in relationship with people. 
>> After the transfer, I found myself much happier than before. It became clear to me that I wasn't inherently flawed in my interactions with others. 

New friends was so kind, and I enjoyed with them. 
>> The new friends I made were incredibly kind, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with them.

I never had argued with them for 1 year before I attended to middle school. 
>> Not once did we have any conflicts during the entire year before I transitioned to middle school.

I want to advice to me who have difficulty in relationship with friends. 
>> Reflecting on my experience, I would offer this advice to my past self and anyone struggling with friendship dynamics:  

Please you don't find a problem from oneself. 
>> Firstly, don't blame yourself for difficulties in relationships. 

You've put oneself first before thinks of others. 
>> Prioritize your own well-being before worrying about others' opinions.

In addition, you should to realize how important you are and do not undercut yourself.
>> Additionally, recognize your own worth and never underestimate yourself.

Lastly, It's better for you to move to another school as soon as possible.
>> Lastly, if the situation becomes too challenging, don't hesitate to consider transferring to a different school where you can find a more supportive environment as soon as possible.
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