¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Importance of beauty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-02-24 1040

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think beauty is important.
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes generalize.
However, there are the most important thing.
That is what is inside our heart.
Beauty is just outside.
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie! These corrections aim to improve the clarity, grammar, and flow of the original text. I hope it helps. Thank you!
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I think beauty is important.
>>> I believe beauty is important 
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes 
generalize.
>>> because many people appreciate it, making it a common preference. 
However, there are the most important thing.
>>> However, what's truly essential 
That is what is inside our heart.
>>> is what lies within our hearts. 
Beauty is just outside.
>>> While beauty is external, 
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
>>> the goodness inside our hearts ultimately defines our true beauty. 
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.
>>> Therefore, I consider beauty important, but the inner beauty of our hearts holds equal significance.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132433 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1531
132432 How far into the future would you like to travel? What do you... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1520
132431 Do you watch television shows in English to help improve your... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 0
132430 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-15 1594
132429 My phone ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2309
132428 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 5
132427 Never loan someone. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3321
132426 homework 11.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2604
132425 Should schools start later in the day or earlier in the day? Why? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 0
132424 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3
132423 Unit6. homework ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2155
132422 Declining offers of help ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2006
132421 Job Interview.... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2826
132420 An American report says home-schooled children do much better... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 3
132419 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2168
132418 Want to enroll in another academy ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1982
132417 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Which amusement... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132416 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 2548
132415 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 1
132414 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-14 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04