¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Importance of beauty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-02-24 1020

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think beauty is important.
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes generalize.
However, there are the most important thing.
That is what is inside our heart.
Beauty is just outside.
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie! These corrections aim to improve the clarity, grammar, and flow of the original text. I hope it helps. Thank you!
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I think beauty is important.
>>> I believe beauty is important 
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes 
generalize.
>>> because many people appreciate it, making it a common preference. 
However, there are the most important thing.
>>> However, what's truly essential 
That is what is inside our heart.
>>> is what lies within our hearts. 
Beauty is just outside.
>>> While beauty is external, 
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
>>> the goodness inside our hearts ultimately defines our true beauty. 
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.
>>> Therefore, I consider beauty important, but the inner beauty of our hearts holds equal significance.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132686 Are risk-takers more successful in life? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 3211
132685 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 0
132684 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 0
132683 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 0
132682 How much do you trust the doctors these days? and why? How can... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2867
132681 f you were invited to a fancy dinner with the president or a... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2
132680 What is the best medicine for you? is it effective? How can you... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2343
132679 Homework ¾È*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1713
132678 english interview ¹Ú*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 6
132677 What kind of world do you think would be this if people never... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1781
132676 WRITING TASK: What kinds of problems can people face that might... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 6
132675 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 9
132674 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 4
132673 new agency... ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2315
132672 Homework ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2064
132671 What was the movie you saw that had a great impact on your life? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 3012
132670 complaints Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2089
132669 Outsourcing, complaint Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 1332
132668 motivation of running continuously ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 2329
132667 Should companies be required to hire a diverse staff? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-23 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04