¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Importance of beauty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-02-24 909

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think beauty is important.
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes generalize.
However, there are the most important thing.
That is what is inside our heart.
Beauty is just outside.
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie! These corrections aim to improve the clarity, grammar, and flow of the original text. I hope it helps. Thank you!
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I think beauty is important.
>>> I believe beauty is important 
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes 
generalize.
>>> because many people appreciate it, making it a common preference. 
However, there are the most important thing.
>>> However, what's truly essential 
That is what is inside our heart.
>>> is what lies within our hearts. 
Beauty is just outside.
>>> While beauty is external, 
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
>>> the goodness inside our hearts ultimately defines our true beauty. 
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.
>>> Therefore, I consider beauty important, but the inner beauty of our hearts holds equal significance.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133550 Job ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133549 What¡¯s the latest news? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 1
133548 What are your thoughts on Memorial Day as a holiday? Is this... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 2
133547 My New Year\\\'s Resolution ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133546 What are you grateful for this year? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 0
133545 HOMEWORK FOR 12.29.2023 WRITING TASK: Do you like stretching?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 3
133544 HOMEWORK FOR 12.28.2023 WRITING TASK: What don\'t you like about... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-31 5
133543 homework ¹Ú*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 1351
133542 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0
133541 How do you celebrate the New Year in your country? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 0
133540 Are there any specific activities or events in your community... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-30 1697
133539 What are the benefits of having constant communication with your... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1288
133538 Homework ±è*´ã ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1829
133537 What¡¯s better to have, great imagination or lots of knowledge? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0
133536 homework 12.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1032
133535 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1367
133534 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 2
133533 This time of year ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 853
133532 How do you deal with unsolicited advice? ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0
133531 What kind of business do you want to set up? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04