¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Importance of beauty

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*À²
2024-02-24 411

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think beauty is important.
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes generalize.
However, there are the most important thing.
That is what is inside our heart.
Beauty is just outside.
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Julie! These corrections aim to improve the clarity, grammar, and flow of the original text. I hope it helps. Thank you!
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara

I think beauty is important.
>>> I believe beauty is important 
Because, many people like and prefer beauty, so it becomes 
generalize.
>>> because many people appreciate it, making it a common preference. 
However, there are the most important thing.
>>> However, what's truly essential 
That is what is inside our heart.
>>> is what lies within our hearts. 
Beauty is just outside.
>>> While beauty is external, 
The inside of our heart makes us more beautiful.
>>> the goodness inside our hearts ultimately defines our true beauty. 
Therefore, I think beauty is important but the inside of our heart is also important.
>>> Therefore, I consider beauty important, but the inner beauty of our hearts holds equal significance.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133525 Do you think working during the holidays affects your overall... ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 615
133524 happiness is a choice? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133523 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0
133522 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0
133521 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133520 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133519 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 0
133518 What are the things you want to achieve before the end of this... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1755
133517 Homework 12/27 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133516 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 1
133515 The Meaning of \"Success\" in Modern Society ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-29 3
133514 Old people\'s name with culture and values °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133513 What does a vacation make you feel? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 565
133512 Major holidays ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 714
133511 homework 12.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 733
133510 Would you rather visit every country or fly to outer space? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 901
133509 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 3
133508 What subject would you like to be most knowledgeable about? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 1
133507 Would you like to be a celebrity? What do you think are the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 0
133506 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-28 536

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04