¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽŠ³»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 02.21

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-02-21 754

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other challenging or stressful situations?

Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy or we want to rest because we are received stress out.
On days like this, I just want and think to come back home and rest as soon as possible.
If I has a lot of tired or stress, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going as well as on the other days.
Even, some people have sensitive emotional reactions on days like this.
For example, they are easily annoyed by trivial things.
So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight away.
And I go into my room and take a nap or recharge my energy with minimal body movement.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you do to relax after working hard or experiencing other challenging or stressful situations?


Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy or we want to rest because we are received stress out.
>> Some days, we may be tired from using all our energy, or we want to rest because we receive a lot of stress.
On days like this, I just want and think to come back home and rest as soon as possible.
>> CORRECT!
If I has a lot of tired or stress, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going as well as on the other days.
>> If I feel too tired or stressed, if I do other things, I feel like it's not going well as on the other days.
Even so, some people have sensitive emotional reactions on days like this.
>> CORRECT!
For example, they are easily annoyed by trivial things.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> For example, they easily feel annoyed by trivial things.
So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight away.
>> So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home straight.
OR >> So in my case after all my schedules, I don't stay outside, and I come back home right away.
And I go into my room and take a nap or recharge my energy with minimal body movement.>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133774 Letter ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 4
133773 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1789
133772 What do you think of herbal and Chinese medicine? Do you think... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 998
133771 Writing. check Á¤*Æò ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 0
133770 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1
133769 homework 1 Â÷*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1223
133768 2.What did you do last weekend? What will you do this weekend?... Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1260
133767 essay 3 ¼Û*½Â ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1347
133766 I\'m not a picky eater. ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 1248
133765 What are some problems that families encounter? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-10 970
133764 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1326
133763 Disaster ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1481
133762 Describe a person you look up to. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2
133761 >> What are your thoughts on your country\'s presidential... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2
133760 homework 01.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1155
133759 Age and Life °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 2
133758 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1
133757 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1589
133756 Which area of current events would you like to be more... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 0
133755 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-09 1356

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ Ķ¸°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öÆ° Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽŠ±ÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î ÇÏ°í ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04